Pryex's thoughts on Transformers: Dark of the Moon

[Pryex]

So as I'm a big Transformers fan I went to see this today with a coupel of friends. Straight off I'd like to say I loved it, it was easily the best of the three movies and had a very nice storyline that managed to use a lot of historical events such as Chernobyl and the moon landings. Obviously there were new robots including my all time favourite Shockwave, and other old favourites such as Wheeljack (Q) and Lazerbeak

Now before I go into to story or anything I'd just like to point out that this film is not like the others. It's brutal to say the least. Characters (who will not be named here) are mercilessly executed, which as everyoen has their own favourites will probably hit everybody in different ways. Even if you don't partiucularly liek them though the sturggles aren't exactly a nice thing to see. Again unlike the other movies, people die in this one, and nto just one or two, people are slaughtered, but I'm not going to go into detail here.

My rundown and thoughts on the story: SPOILERED FOR GREAT JUSTICE

>! The movie starts off as they usually do, Optimus giving a speech, it turns out an Autobot ship crashed on the moon containing the last hope for winnign the war, and naturally humans detected it and began the space race. That's that, we then get to see Sam Witwicky's incredibly hot and incredibly english new blowup doll, who's acting is marginally better than Megan Fox's but she's better eye candy too so I won't complain. Sam's looking for a job yadah yadah.
>! The autobots are investigating Chernobyl where they find that russians were experimenting on a piece of the crashed ship. Also Shockwave attacks everybody with his pet and it's incredibly cool in 3D. Shockwave's introduced as some badass then doesn't appear again for about an hour and a half. Optimus is really pissed that humanity knew about the ship, and has a rant before going to the moon and finding the body of his mentor and original autobot leader Sentinal Prime. He revives him with the matrix and stores what few pieces fo their plan to win the war remain.
>! Sam gets a job and is attacked by Lazerbeak, this movie isn't as human centered as the others. Megatron has been hiding in Africa after his accident in the last one where half his face was shot off by the already criminally insane Optimus Prime. He looks really creepy with half a face and I swear down I thought he was about to go one on one with a herd of elephants, that would have been awesome. Starscream is a winy female dog as usual.
>! Some stuff happens we find out that Sentinal Prime betrays the autobots and joins Megatron. Optimus goes into overload with his pissed levels and Ironhide a brilliant character is shot in the back, then rusts from the inside out, getting a painful and undeserving death. I liked Ironhide this was not a good death for him, but it was brutal. Very very brutal. Sentinal escapes and wakes up an army fo decepticons who then come to earth and level Chicago., The bulk of the movie has begun. People are mercilessly chased down and shot despite having no way to combat the decepticons. The autobots are pretend exiled and everyone thinks everything is over.
>! Sam goes into Chicago to find his blowup doll Optimus shoots stuff and a random decepticon is torn limb from limb as Optimus gives the very uncharacteristic command of 'kill all of them'. Some stuff happens and Sam is cornered by Starscream. Oh wow an awesome Starscream scene. No, Sam grapples into his eye then stabs the other one with a bomb. Starscream cries like a female dog and then his head explodes. We don't get an awesome fight, my friends spirit had been crushed by the pathetic death of his idol, I of course laughed at the tears runnign down his cheeks, his second favourite character died minutes later. Shockwave arrives and shoots everybody. Optimus then arrives and punches a hole in Shockwave because he's yet again being an executioner of 'cons. Optimus then fights Sentinal, Megatron shoots Sentinal in the back and calls for a truce, after all where would Optimus be without Megatron?
>! DUCK YOUR TRUCE MEGATRON I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING INCREDIBLY UNCHARACTERISITC. I WILL RIP YOUR SPINE OUT OF YOUR BODY! He does this, I was certain by this point it wasn't Optimus, apparently though it was. Sentinal Pime begs for mercy but nope Optimus won't give him that. Why would the 100% good hero give a begging defenceless old man mercy? Shoot him in the face that's why. Sentinal is dead then Optimus goes on about how they won and the movie is over. A lot of people died, brutally.

If you rewad that you'd see I concentrated on bad points, but the movie really isn't bad I just think it was rather uncharacteristic of Optimus. The story is solid and easy to follow unlike the last one and despite this there is ever more action, and even more explosions. If you liked the other two you should definatly see this, even if you didn't you should because this is a good film standalone, mind it does directly follow on from the last one.

[The New World]

So many spelling mistakes. Refuse to read.

[Pryex]

OKay, I have now fixed every spelling mistake I could see.

[PD]

@Pryex:

> with a **coupel** of friends.

:P If it's the best of the three I need to watch it

[jcsnider]

@Pryex:

> Now before I go into to story or anything I'd just like to point out that this film is not like the others. It's brutal to say the least. Characters (who will not be named here) are mercilessly executed, which as **everyoen** has their own favourites will probably hit everybody in different ways. Even if you don't partiucularly liek them though the sturggles aren't exactly a nice thing to see. Again unlike the other movies, people die in this one, and nto just one or two, people are slaughtered, but I'm not going to go into detail here.

[Pryex]

Pfft. I ain't editing that post again…

[Robin]

@Pryex:

> Pfft. I ain't editing that post again…

Don't bother doing such a _tl;dr_ post if you're not willing to actually make it legible.

Anyway, got about 3 sentences in and realised it was just your usual fan drool. The film is terrible and the only reason you liked it is because you like transformers and special effects.

Seems like you'd accept any old shit as long as it had one of your favourite IPs branded all over it.

[Pryex]

Robin considering I highly doubt you've actually seen it, then you can't exactly label it as terrible. A big part of the film is special effects considering it's about robots fighting each other. I may have still liked the last one but the story was almost non-existant, that isn't the case here, so don't bother commenting if it's just goign to be an attack, or you blabbering on about something you don't have any idea about.

[Robin]

@Pryex:

> Robin considering I highly doubt you've actually seen it, then you can't exactly label it as terrible.

I just did.

@Pryex:

> A big part of the film is special effects considering it's about robots fighting each other.

You misunderstood. Michael Bay is well known for failing to realise that special effects _aren't_ a substitute for story. Boasting that a film has special effects now-a-days is like boasting that it's a film. They're bells and whistles and should never be a core feature.

@Pryex:

> BAAAWWWW STOP HAVING A DIFFERENT OPINION FROM ME

I grew up with Transformers and enjoyed every minute of it. Unfortunately the films conveys none of the original charm and they spend all their time trying to distract you from the lack of story or character development by quickly cutting between explosions and buildings falling down. It's the equivalent of shaking keys in a baby's face.

I still can't distinguish between the damn characters because they've gone with that classic Hollywood colour choice of brown, grey and more brown.

I've seen all three movies so far and not a single one of them has made me care about the damn characters. Shaia LaPoof is still the same unlikable dick he was in the first film.

The story itself was boring. I was very nearly asleep by the end of it. 2:40hr is _way_ too long for this kind of film. This isn't LOTR. They don't have a huge amount of material they need to try and fit in to this thing. There was absolutely no reason for this film to be that long other than Michael Fucking Bay wanting to put more explosions in it.

In the end it comes down to this; **Just because Optimus Prime is in a movie does not mean it's a good movie.**

That doesn't mean it's amazingly bad. It just means it's mediocre. It's average. It doesn't excel at anything.

Unfortunately I don't want to waste my time and money watching an average film. I want to see something engaging that'll draw me in and give me the best experience it can. This one didn't deliver and was just as bad as the previous two. I hope to God they kill this damn series. They've sunk millions in to this franchise and they still failed completely at re-capturing the emotions that the old animated cartoon film brought up.

If you're still jacking off over your nostalgia (and we both know this is true from previous discussion about your Zelda and Nintendo fanboyism) then that's great. I'm glad that you can enjoy a film purely because of the premise. I, on the other hand, need another reason to like a film other than the fact it's got familiar characters from my childhood.

[Pryex]

Again if you'd read my original post you'd see I didn't like what they'd done with some of the characters, especially Optimus in this one, as for your colour scheme thing that's exagurated to say the least, but by now I'm sure you just hate everything.

[Robin]

@Pryex:

> as for your colour scheme thing that's exagurated to say the least

It's really not exaggerated. With that God damn shaky camera technique and the poorly decided shots I honestly couldn't tell whether it was an Autobot or a Deceptacon during the fight scenes. The only times I could recognise who was who was when they actually kept the camera still enough and the shot long enough for me to get a good look. After that I relied completely on who was shouting who's name.

[Lavos]

Please use spoilers…. not everone has sceen this movie, and might not want to know what happens.

Just came back from watching it.

>! Near the end cocktimus prime could of died if it wasn't for megatron. It's too bad Sentinel had to to kill Iron hide.

I noticed the less humor in the movie then the other two before it. Overall i thought it was aiight.

[Robin]

Wow, what a detailed and completely justified review. Thank you for that.

@Lavos:

> Near the end cocktimus prime could of died if it wasn't for megatron. It's too bad Sentinel had to to kill Iron hide.

What in God's name was the point of posting that? You said nothing about it. You literally just said what happened in the movie. If you're not going to follow up on it then there's no point posting it because the people who already saw the movie already bloody know and the people who haven't aren't going to read it.

:rolleyes: