The Church of Eclipse

[Bonk]

Following an epiphany in Marsh's annual eggnog thread, I have decided to form the Church of Eclipse. Please bear in mind this is a _very_ serious topic and flaming will be deemed racism.

**The Lord's Prayer**
_(Edited from the original)_

> Our Eclipse who art on touchofdeath,
> hallowed be thy name.
> Thy website come,
> thou flaming will be done,
> on Mirage as it is in Origins.
> Give us this day our daily eggnog,
> and forgive us our programming,
> as we forgive those who steal our source code.
> And lead us not into Chaos Engine,
> but deliver us from glitches
> For thine is the Stable,
> the Origins and the Evolution
> Forever and ever
> Amen.

**The Ten Commandments**
_(As revealed by Marsh, as he led the Newbs from Chaos Engine)_

> Thou shalt have no other engines but Eclipse.
> Thou shalt not make for yourself any idol of Robin, nor bow down to it or worship it.
> Thou shalt not misuse the name of your God.
> Thou shalt remember and keep the Eggnog thread holy.
> Thy must respect Gwen and Anna.
> Thy must start thy server.
> Thy must not commit arse-kissing.
> Thy must not steal thy neighbour's source code.
> Thy must not give false evidence to Newbs.
> Thou must not be envious of your neighbour's tilesets. You shall not be envious of his features nor his storyline, nor anything that belongs to your neighbour.

**Positions**
_(In order of importance)_

Robin - Jesus
Marsh - Moses
Renzo - Mary Magdalene & Head of Summer Schools
Ryoku - The Pope
Bonk - Archbishop of Eclipsebury
Gwen - Satan/Lilith/Odile/General Seductive über-cow <3(Due to the hatred off eggnog)

Currently we have no God. I have realised that this could be a potential flaw. Suggestions, maybe..?

[Carim123]

Oh no.

[Bonk]

Blasphema!

[Ruins of Hell]

@Bonk:

> **Positions**
> _(In order of importance)_
>
> Robin - Jesus
> Marsh - Moses
> Renzo - Mary Magdalene & Head of Summer Schools
> Ryoku - The Pope
> Bonk - Archbishop of Eclipsebury
> Gwen - Satan (Due to the hatred off eggnog)


[lollicat]

Hey, if I post now, I'll officially be on the front page of a Wall of Shame thread!

The user was warned for this post.

[renzo]

All ya niggas posting in a racist thread.

[lollicat]


[Bcm27]

Hahaha. This thread made me laugh so hard. :P A Eclipse CHURCH? :)))

[Bonk]

I can't see why not. If Pastafarians can worship spaghetti then I can worship a judgemental, egotistical and downright rude community. It's a wonderful life.

And besides, Lollicat, you're responsible for a thread in there anyway.

[lollicat]

You know what my title was back then?

"Eclipse Newbie".

[Sealbreaker]

sounds legit. as legit as any other religion.

[Bcm27]

@Lady:

> You know what my title was back then?
>
> "Eclipse Newbie".

Ha. :P Lets see how many people join your little church.

[Bonk]

Meh. Most religions have flaws. The Bible has plenty and that's widely followed. Take Adam and Eve. It was all God's fault. He didn't want Eve to eat an apple, so what did he do? Made it super-pretty. It didn't help that her brain was made of rib, either. Then he started with the "Eve, life will suck from now on. You will bleed for a week each month, and child birth will really hurt, but in reality, he's either just bad at building vaginas, or Adam and Eve weren't real. I'm going with the former, Eclipse-Style.

[Gwen]

wait… why am i satan im not inharently evil?

im more like Lilith

[lollicat]

@Bcm27:

> Ha. :P Lets see how many people join your little church.

Do I look like I have a church?

[Bonk]

Odile, from Swan Lake, maybe? I think you offended half the Eclipse lot when you denounced Eggnog :)

And if anyone thinks this is fake, here's some art from the 16th century. Dispute that.


[Gwen]

I denounced nothing…. I only speak the truth, and will not fall bow to the false worship of eggnog.

I only want to protect the members of eclipse from the vileness that is eggnog.

[Bonk]

Having tried it, it is well and truly a mouthgasm. Nutmeg, cinnamon and a candy cane. Doesn't get better <3

[ddunit]

This all requires a Martyr, I nominate Beau, as he used to be one of the most hated Eclipse Members.

[RyokuHasu]

Glad to see Bonk blew My religion WAY out of proportion XD

[Bonk]

Throw him to the Lions!


And it's a religion of the people. It's **our** religion. *Hippy*

[Gwen]

follow me… I'll show you the true way!

Why bow down and be forced to drink that eggnog filth, when I will raise you on a pedistal above all else and give you the true nectar of the gods!

[RyokuHasu]

^_^ *glomps gwen*

HE RUINED MY RELIGION!!!! >.<

[ddunit]

@ঙ্wএন্ডলিন্:

> follow me… I'll show you the true way!
>
> Why bow down and be forced to drink that eggnog filth, when I will raise you on a pedistal above all else and give you the true nectar of the gods!

Tell me more.

[Bonk]

It's my religion -.-
I had the initial idea :L

And don't trust Gwen, she's a temptress. Remember when Robin spent 40 days and 40 nights on Xtremeworlds Forum being tormented by Gwen? SHE IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED. She wants your soul. That's why she can't palate eggnog, her soul is so unclean that pure eggnog will melt her.