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The financial crisis, as explained to a 14 year old, with a Pokémon analogy

xeross

By xeross,
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xeross Newbie

xeross

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> Kevin: Imagine that I let you borrow $50, but in exchange for my generosity, you promise to pay me back the $50 with an extra $10 in interest. To make sure you pay me back, I take your Charizard Pokémon card as collateral …
>
>     Let’s say that the Charizard is worth $50, so in case you decide to not return my money, at least I’ll have something that’s worth what I loaned out.
>
>     But one day, people realize that Pokémon is stupid and everyone decides that the cards are overvalued. That’s right—everybody turned twelve on the same day! Now your Charizard is only worth, say, $25.
>
>     At the same time, you’re having trouble paying back the $60 you owe me. So what would you rather do: try and pay me back the $60 or just default and give me your $25 Charizard?
>
>     Olivia: I’d give you the Charizard.
>
>     Kevin: Exactly. Who wouldn’t? Now, the bank — I mean me — has lost $25 when I expected to make $10\. What’s the lesson here?
>
>     Olivia: Pokémon is dumb
>
> Really, our economy would be in a much better state right now if financial institutions had traded in something more stable, like Meowth cards.

Regards, Xeross
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LRgamer Newbie

LRgamer

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@Pryex:

> Mind, I have liked you since you joined.
>
> You're a fresh attidtude.
>
> For a newb.
>
> If you're talking about me, you are being quite foolish, ma boi!
> I am THE CHAMELEON. I imitate beings from time to time. And sometimes spam Eclipse. Nobody knows of my real identity, except for a given few. I, am shrouded in mystery, now, what shall we have FOR DINNER?
> On-topic: I can write the Bible in Pokémon language if you want.
>
> In the beginning, there was nothing.
> Then, Arceus said: " LET THERE BE SOLROCK!"
> and a big-ass Solaceon was summoned to the Playing Field in face-up attack position:
> ATK 3000
> DEF 2500
> "Your move!", shouted Arceus.
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emblem Newbie

emblem

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@Haruhiism:

> If you're talking about me, you are being quite foolish, ma boi!
> I am THE CHAMELEON. I imitate beings from time to time. And sometimes spam Eclipse. Nobody knows of my real identity, except for a given few. I, am shrouded in mystery, now, what shall we have FOR DINNER?
> On-topic: I can write the Bible in Pokémon language if you want.
>
> In the beginning, there was nothing.
> Then, Arceus said: " LET THERE BE SOLACEON!"
> and a big-ass Solaceon was summoned to the Playing Field in face-up attack position:
> ATK 3000
> DEF 2500
> "Your move!", shouted Arceus.

Thanks for giving away who you are. xD

Also, I facepalmed soo hard at that.
Even more than the original post.
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LRgamer Newbie

LRgamer

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@Tylian!:

> Thanks for giving away who you are. xD
>
> Also, I facepalmed soo hard at that.
> Even more than the original post.

Do not worry. Facepalms give me energy. Energy to TAKE over the world. And do not expect me to stay in this form for long.

Also, Kaiba, please refrain from attacking my Solaceon.
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LRgamer Newbie

LRgamer

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In the beginning, there was nothing.
Then, Arceus said: " LET THERE BE SOLROCK!"
and a big-ass Solaceon was summoned to the Playing Field in face-up attack position:
ATK 3000
DEF 2500
"Your move!", shouted Arceus.

"You will FALL, Arceus!  This isn't personal, my old friend!"
"I summon Darkrai, in attack mode!"
ATK 2750
DEF 3000

This was a strange mixture between Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh!.
No mere mortal has even spoken nor seen this battle happen, but I, my friends, can speak of it lively, like it happened just yesterday.

"My turn!" Darkrai pierced a shout, echoing through the Chaos, the Emptiness, Mu.
He drew a card.
Exactly what he needed. Since Arceus had already summoned Solrock and had put Lunatone, Shaymin and Bidoof on the bench, this was exactly the card he needed. "I activate, FROM MY HAND, THE TRAINER CARD "DARK HOLE, ALL monsters on the field ARE DESTROYED, INCLUDING MY DARKRAI!" Arceus flinched. This was unexpected.  Destroying his Darkrai is a foolish move. Unless… Could he really have planned it all out? ""Because oF Bidoof's Normal Type, he isn't destroyed by DARK Hole!" Arceus sighed. This could get tricky. The next draw was the one where the fate of the universe depended on...
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Homicidal Monkey Newbie

Homicidal Monkey

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@Haruhiism:

> In the beginning, there was nothing.
> Then, Arceus said: " LET THERE BE SOLROCK!"
> and a big-ass Solaceon was summoned to the Playing Field in face-up attack position:
> ATK 3000
> DEF 2500
> "Your move!", shouted Arceus.
>
> "You will FALL, Arceus!  This isn't personal, my old friend!"
> "I summon Darkrai, in attack mode!"
> ATK 2750
> DEF 3000
>
> This was a strange mixture between Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh!.
> No mere mortal has even spoken nor seen this battle happen, but I, my friends, can speak of it lively, like it happened just yesterday.
>
> "My turn!" Darkrai pierced a shout, echoing through the Chaos, the Emptiness, Mu.
> He drew a card.
> Exactly what he needed. Since Arceus had already summoned Solrock and had put Lunatone, Shaymin and Bidoof on the bench, this was exactly the card he needed. "I activate, FROM MY HAND, THE TRAINER CARD "DARK HOLE, ALL monsters on the field ARE DESTROYED, INCLUDING MY DARKRAI!" Arceus flinched. This was unexpected.  Destroying his Darkrai is a foolish move. Unless… Could he really have planned it all out? ""Because oF Bidoof's Normal Type, he isn't destroyed by DARK Hole!" Arceus sighed. This could get tricky. The next draw was the one where the fate of the universe depended on...

why did I just read ALL of that?
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LRgamer Newbie

LRgamer

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@Zetta:

> why did I just read ALL of that?

Because you liked it. PART 2!

"DRAW!" His powers were running out. There were two Prizes left. If this Bidoof fainted, it would be all over,since he had no Bench Pokémon.
The world would belong to the Dark Pokémon Darkrai."I ACTIVATE MY RAIGEKI! THIS DESTROYS ALL OF YOUR POKÉMON!", he screamed and roared,
his wounds still aching. "YOUR ROARING IS FUTILE, MY OLD FRIEND! REVERSE CARD OPEN, SOLEMN JUDGMENT!". Time stopped for that split second. Arceus felt a chill going through his spine. Not that card. The card that…
"YES! The card that can block ANYTHING for the cost of al my cards in my hand!
And when this li'l baby is discarded to the Graveyard, I can Special summon anything from either Graveyard! POKÉBORN ANKH!"
Arceus did not say a word. "Is your ressentiment taking you over, Arc?! Your Pokémon have FAILED you, and you have also FAILED miserably."  Emptyness dispatched the field.  "You underestimate me, Darkrai. It still is my Turn. I have made you, and I can destroy you. You , however, have become too powerful to destroy in this Duel.
But this could do the trick: activate Magic Card: Desperate Search!" Darkrai shook his head in disbelief. "That... CARD!? IT CAN'T BE! I... I... MY MINIONS!"
"Your minions... FAILED MISERABLY. This card can only be played if there are no Pokémon in my hand, if my enemy has a Pokémon on his field, requiring one Tribute in the process, and with it, I can search out up to 5 of 'em in my Deck, but, in the end of my Turn, I will have to give up one Prize!" Darkrai  "No... You couldn't... Have THAT?!"
"Yes, I DO! I choose Fighting Plate of the Sealed One, Psychic Plate of the Sealed One, Steel Plate of the Sealed One , Plate Fusion and Arceus, The Ultimate Sealed One!"
"But... That Card forces you to destroy your own Monster! Your Bidoof!" He was clearly panicking, with sweat drops falling away in the Nothingness.
Arceus smiled wryly.
"My Arceus will automatically be placed in the Attacking Pokémon position. Yes, this card is so powerful, only one copy exists. Right here with me."
Darkrai was about to lose the Duel, but he still had a trick up his sleeve.
If he is hit by Judgment, it would certainly be all over for him.
"I SURRENDER! Oh ALMIGHTY ARCEUS! RULER OF ALL!"
Arceus was amazed.
But more was still to come... (Because the writer actually has to open a Bible to check if this stuff isn't too off-content)
Big thanks to Godlord-sama,for his capital E accent aigu.
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LRgamer Newbie

LRgamer

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@Pryex:

> Oh Gawd haru, I swear your awesome.
>
> This is actually the only spam I like.
> Still, I forget what Solaceon is, isn't it a town in Sinnoh?

Yes. I accidentally got Solaceon mixed up with Solarock. Sorry for not answering your question before. I have been reading some books lately and have learned how to write one. Though it isn't as pun-ridden as Lolita, I do hope that someone enjoyed it. More is coming.

Also, please do not call me that. Call me, The Chameleon. My true form.
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renzo Newbie

renzo

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haha, a mixture if pokemon and yugioh, thats fucking epic XD

who wrote the story?

and nice to see you back again, Lorenzo/Leafeon/Haruhiism/The Chameleon(I think there were more names, but i cant remember them, your as bad as your friend, Godlord, with names :P )
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LRgamer Newbie

LRgamer

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@Renzicon69:

> haha, a mixture if pokemon and yugioh, thats ducking epic XD
>
> who wrote the story?
>
> and nice to see you back again, Lorenzo/Leafeon/Haruhiism/The Chameleon(I think there were more names, but i cant remember them, your as bad as your friend, Godlord, with names :P )

I did. You know my identity. YOU MUST DIE!
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