Just curious..

[demon xxx x]

Ok, lately, I've found out why my grades have been falling..

Late at night, I've been having weird thoughts, listening to music would usually help.  Now, when I'm listening, I feel as if I see the world through a different perspective.. It's bothering me, because for the past few hours, I've been trying to sleep, but, every time I close my eyes all I do is think of running away, and avoiding everything and everyone I love.  I guess it may be something that every teen goes through, but I'm really curious about it.. Why is it happening to me?  ._.  I need sleep, and I'm really bothered by this right now.

Last night, I was up till 3AM, every time I tried to fall asleep, I'd have constant memories flashing through my head.  First it was my first girlfriend, then it was the day I almost died, after that it was a long walk I had, which was an amazing night, but it bothers to think about it, and not control it..

Tonight, I'm thinking about running away.. and I don't wanna run away, if I had any problems, I'd usually just deal with them, and I have none right now, except this.  I know for a fact this wouldn't want me to run, because I can't run from my own mind..

Maybe it's just because of my recent breakup?  Or maybe it's something teenagers go through?  I don't know, but it's annoying, because it's affecting my grades, and I'm tired, I just want some answers.. >_<

It could also have something to do with my friend Vinnie.. ever since he came back from placement, he's been much more intact with his mind, and was explaining about how he is smarter than average people, not by choice, just naturally smart..  Since then, was when I was starting to get weird thoughts.. Seeing things strange, and realizing all my flaws, and the flaws of everyone else.

I may sound like I'm talking out of my ass, but I'm just curious to why this is all happening, what could have caused it, and why I can't control what I'm thinking anymore..

[renzo]

I've had similar situations, they usually happen when I'm bored, have you been less active than usual?
Try not to pay any attention to it, And if your having trouble sleeping because of these thoughts, try listening to music while you sleep, or read a book. While your reading you should notice that you just can't keep your eyelids open anymore, then you can put your book away and go to sleep

[demon xxx x]

Bored: I'm bored always, I can be having the most fun of my life, I'll still be bored.  Boredom is something I cannot escape, I've been like this since I was 4, doctors tell me it's because I'm a borderline genius or some shit.

Music: It traps me in my own mind, even more.  It used to help, now it's just a prison..

Activities: I skate every day, and play guitar every day.  I've been studying Java, so that's going to be every day..

Books don't help me, they make it worse, it does the same as music.

[IceCream Tuesday]

Its called depression. Join the club.
Everyone will go through it.

My first major break up. I was destroyed.. I couldn't do anything.
Things do get better, Don't worry about it.
As for the sleeping. Just watch tv till you pass out.. keep your mind off of those subjects.

[demon xxx x]

I could care less about the breakup.  It was stupid shit, and it couldn't be avoided, nothing to get upset over.

I have no TV, because I have no cable, no need for a TV in my room.

I don't believe it's depression.  It feels far different than depression.  Depression is simply an excuse for I'm sad, and don't feel like doing anything.

[IceCream Tuesday]

"I'm sad, and don't feel like doing anything."

Thats what depression is.. that's not an excuse lol.

And.. the breakup did matter, if it didn't you would of thought about it.. or even mention it

[demon xxx x]

I was just curious to if that could have caused this to happen.

But, of course I care about it.  But it doesn't bother me, I can honestly say I'm fine with being single, It doesn't bother me, honestly.

[demon xxx x]

Yeah dude.. I tried meditation, like my friend told me, it helped me get to sleep, I'm gonna continue with it from now on.  Maybe it'll help.

[Robin]

Exercise.

[demon xxx x]

@Robin:

> Exercise.

I do every day.  I walk 2 miles to school, and back, then skate for several hours.

[Kirby Lord]

Set goals for yourself.

[Robin]

Just give up and get blathered every night.

[Khachaturian]

To go to sleep you could tire the hell out of yourself till you're bout ready to pass out, or drink till you pass out.

[demon xxx x]

Well, meditation was working last night.. o_O

but, fuck it! If I'm having problems, best make it last, and stay up all night dong something USEFUL!

Read more about Java!

Anyone care to learn with me? I can teach everything I know(bare basics), and teach whatever I learn to you :D

[Patrick]

Everyone is different; Robin exercises, Kirby achieves, ICT watches TV, and Renzo reads books. Personally, I've never had this but what I think you should do is to interact with real people. Not us weird people.

You're learning java right? So you're trying to learn something at least. You're thinking a year ahead as you're trying to get ahead. So am I. Even though I'm 2/1 years younger than you, We're still human beings.

[death]

@мсичġġєт:

> Everyone is different; Robin masterbaits, Kirby achieves, ICT watches TV, Renzo reads books and Wolf drinks. Personally, I've never had this but what I think you should do is to interact with real people. Not us weird people.

It would be best to get advice from other people than those lurking the internet.

[Pryex]

Man, I deal with this, using the internet…

[Robin]

@мсичġġєт:

> Robin exercises

I don't exercise to deal with this kind of stuff. My job means I need to be in good shape.

After a good day's work I'm knackered, but it makes my first pint all that more enjoyable, and I sleep like a log.

You just need a purpose in life.

[demon xxx x]

Lol, after no one answered last night at my topic, I went to bed, slept like a log.  Meditation works.