Nation States

[SawQuart]

Nah, I don't read that often. I like his genre of books though, if I ever did decide to read again.

[renzo]

I wish I had copy pasted the debate I just had onto here because the result I got was quite clever.
My nation had an issue with the Miss Nation Beauty Pageants being sexist and/or immoral to women and my resolution was to allow both men and women to compete in the pageant.  The result?

> Following new legislation in Renzo the Inscrutable, Max Barry is this year's Miss Renzo the Inscrutable.

I very much like this man's humour. :)

[beckymegan]

I kinda want to buy that guys book ;) And congrats to Max, I totally would've voted for hime ;D

[cheatking]

@rT�>Ъ^B���VI:

> I kinda want to buy that guys book ;)

I bought it but the shipping time is one month to the UK. XD

[beckymegan]

You'll have to tell us if its any good or not then ;)

Today's "Issue"

After several reports of pet Ducks violently attacking, injuring, and even killing citizens, there has been growing pressure from public safety activists for the government to take action.

Yay.

[renzo]

Aw Fuuu-  I didn't know they would take medals way if you lost your place! :O
I'm no longer the most liberal of the Eclipse region, curse you Homo Gays!

[SawQuart]

@renzo:

> Aw Fuuu-  I didn't know they would take medals way if you lost your place! :O
> I'm no longer the most liberal of the Eclipse region, curse you Homo Gays!

Homos Unite!

[beckymegan]

The Majilova S.P.C.C. has launched a fresh campaign to stop parents from smacking their children. They demand that the government introduce laws to ban this form of 'corporal punishment'.
The Debate

    Child Psychiatrist, Dr. Peggy Clinton, speaks at a press conference on the matter: "Parents and teachers must realise that smacking children increases aggressiveness, lowers their self-esteem, and can cause long-term emotional trauma! How can anybody think that it is anything but child abuse? Parents who resort to smacking their children are obviously unfit to be parents at all! We must ban this horrible practice at once!"

    "What are these lunatics on about?!" yells Peggy Wong, a concerned parent. "Smacking children has been an effective form of punishment since the dawn of mankind! Outlaw it and I guarantee you the next generation will be a disorderly disaster! Children need, nay CRAVE discipline! Sometimes the only language they understand is the cane, and the government has to respect that!"

I almost choked on my juice reading the issue part. Just sayin ;D

[Draken]

Ended up choosing 1 on the Colosseum. Also made it legal for people to shoot people that break into their house :P Which then gave me the following :)

It is a common belief that a sport isn't sport if there are no decapitations, nervous homeowners have been blamed for rising death rates amongst carol singers and locksmiths, military spending is on the increase, and archaeological discoveries are often followed by mysterious hamster abductions. Crime is moderate. Gnome Loving's national animal is the Garden Gnome, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its currency is the GnomeCoins.

[SawQuart]

lol

> the nation's first space rocket – sponsored by Pepsi and shaped like an enormous soda bottle -- is being developed

[Bcm27]

The Holy Empire of SHE3P is a fledgling, pleasant nation, notable for its absence of drug laws. Its compassionate, hard-working, intelligent population of 5 million have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large government devotes most of its attentions to Law & Order, with areas such as Social Welfare and Commerce receiving almost no funds by comparison. The average income tax rate is 24%. A robust private sector is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, followed by Book Publishing and Door-to-door Insurance Sales.

Crime is moderate. SHE3P's national animal is the Sheep, and its currency is the WOLL.

I just created mine. Lol, it sounds like a lot of fun!

[Draken]

hmm odd economy went up after I made it Illegal to be homeless, punished by immediate execution.

Guess it made people want to work more so they wont be homeless

[beckymegan]

The Issue

Scientists have announced they are close to a breakthrough in their quest to revive the feather-bellied Duck, a species related to Majilova's national animal that has been extinct for more than a century.
The Debate

    "I, for one, applaud their work," says scientist Jennifer McGuffin. "And not just because I'm the project leader. This is an example of how Majilova's brains can mix it with the world's best. Can you imagine how wonderful it will be to have feather-bellied Ducks frolicking in the meadows again? I say full steam ahead, and more government funding!"

    "This is a sacrilege!", says religious leader Jennifer Dodinas. "These animals are extinct because God wants them dead. Cloning them would merely incur his wrath! If we proceed down this path, it'll be humans, not the feather-bellied Duck, who will be extinct."

    "Now, come on," says Thomas Gutenberg, well-known philosopher. "You don't need to be religious to be unnerved by the top of this particular slippery slope. Today it's Ducks, tomorrow it's dinosaurs, and we all know how that turns out. This research shouldn't be banned, but there must be strict government controls over its use."

Damn you religion Dx #1 it is. Heck, we can have our own Jurassic park ;D

[Connor]

Just joined up.

Introducing, the nation of BigRedCar!
The Republic of BigRedCar is a fledgling, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its compulsory military service. Its hard-nosed, hard-working, intelligent population of 5 million are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Social Welfare. The average income tax rate is 25%. A small but healthy private sector is dominated by the Gambling industry.

Crime – especially youth-related -- is relatively low, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. BigRedCar's national animal is the Kangaroo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the Dollar.

[Anna Comnena]

Terrorists Strike City Centre
The Issue

All of Comenya has been in an uproar since yesterday when a car exploded in the middle of the capital city, killing dozens and injuring hundreds. This terrorist act was traced back to a violent minority group known as the Lilliputian Freedom Fighters. A group allegedly supported by an unfriendly regime, despising Comenya for its heathenish ways and political bent, but more particularly for supporting the recent occupation of their homeland by an ally.
The Debate

  1\. "They simply crossed the line!" shouts General Elizabeth Jong-Il. "Far too long have we tolerated these terrorist threats, it's time that they realise they can't mess with us. Send the order to prepare an invasion, and we will show them who is boss! Our brave soldiers are prepared to die for their country, all we need is your signature and a lot of money. But what is the cost of freedom and safety for Comenya's peoples?"

  2\. "Attacking another country isn't the answer," says Stephanie Wu, director of the Comenya Intelligence Agency. "The problem doesn't lie abroad, but within Comenya itself! We should have more freedom to do our work. Protecting our nation from these cowardly scaremongerers would be much easier if we had an inherent right to tap phones and other communications, get search warrants whenever we need, and detain suspects indefinitely. Remember, to prevent is better than to cure."

  3\. "No, that's what those terrorists want us to do!" speculates chairman Violet King of the Patriots' Tea and Biscuits Club. "We don't want to give the Agency any more responsibility, they're the ones who messed up in the first place. What we need is to purge Comenya of these rats who don't respect the laws and traditions of our way of life. We know who they are and where they come from, so the solution is obvious: we just won't let those sorts of people cross our borders and kick out those who are already here. It might seem a bit harsh, but hey, we were here first. Long live Comenya!"

  4\. "I think it's clear to anyone with half a brain in their head that this will just not work," says Freddy O'Bannon, a noted professor of social studies. "The people who perpetrate these terrible crimes do so because they feel they have no other recourse to demonstrate their political opinions. They'll do anything and I'm sure they're not above hiring mercenaries. You must understand why terrorists act as they do and fix it! What we should do is to reach out to the ethnic and religious minorities and seek common ground! Negotiation is the key! Violence solves nothing."

  5\. "We spit on Comenya!" expectorates Bianca Wong, leader of the Lilliputian Freedom Fighters. "You disrespect our people and our country and everything we are! You spread your sickening influence where it is not wanted! You must change your ways and cease to oppose us or else there will be more bloodshed. You have been warned!"

  6\. "Is terrorism such a terrible thing? Really?" asks Max Wall, avant garde journalist, discreetly sliding a pipe bomb under your desk. "These people are simply expressing their political opinion the best way they know how. I think we should legalise terrorism as a legitimate form of political commentary. It'll certainly get people interested, don't you think?"

LOL @ #6\. almost thinking of choosing that one

[renzo]

The Issue
Religious and scientific leaders have clashed recently over the teaching of evolution in public schools.

The Debate
1."Ach, good to see you haff made it here in one piece," says evil doctor May Hanover as you wake up strapped to a chair in a secret lab. "As you can see from my brilliant experiments, science has now solved zer problems of zer vorld und ve need nothink else! I propose zat ve do AVAY vith zer teachink of silly thinks like religion und concentrate on zer FACTS! For a start, ve must teach our children where ve came from. Ve shouldn't be teaching anythink that hasn't been scientifically proven - er - accounted for, I mean. Igor, release our guest - I haff a monkey to show him…"

2."That's a LIE, son, we come from the great meteor of truth!" yells firebrand preacher Pastor Richards, kicking down your door. "We cannot allow their transgressions against the HOLY truth to continue! All the heathens should be thankful we don't burn them at the stake for their devilry! This nation's true and just government must ban the filth and corruption being spread bah these WICKED men!"

3."What I'm wondering is why we need to take sides on this," says student Bill Mistletoe. "After all, it's only a theory. An unproven theory. Technically. It's not like it has any bearing on real life - let's just allow the biologists to teach evolution but emphasise that it's only a theory, but also make them teach other theories such as creationism. Heck, we can tell them that crackpot theory that we're all descended from Grizzly Bears too! Then everyone goes away happy."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

4."Stop bickering already!" says Max Winters, Minister of Education. "I say that you can have your cake and eat it, too. Education should be split if it stops this debate. The parents can send their children to secular schools or religious schools, based on what they want their kids to hear. It's expensive, certainly, but the education budget has been needing boosted for ages anyway."

The first one is epic. :P

[Jeff]

Most authoritarian.  There are large Quantities of win in my country.

[renzo]

A surprise raid conducted on ISPs over the last week in Renzo the Inscrutable shows that more than 30% of all Internet data transfer in Renzo the Inscrutable at one time or another is used by illegal file-shares to illegally distribute files, most notably songs.

The Debate
1."What we need to do is hack their computers and format their hard drives," says Aaron Christmas, recording industry representative. "People need to be taught to not mess with the law. This is theft, pure and simple. And they're not only halving our revenue to tune of billions of Renzos, but you are also stealing a few hundredths of a Renzo from the artist for every song they steal. THINK OF THE STARVING ARTISTS!"

2."Yo, dude, like, don't be hatin' man," says teenager Calvin Hendrikson. "We're like, going to change the whole structure of our society. Everything should be like, publicly available to, like, everybody, dude. Copyrights are so, like, uncool man and we need to get rid of them. That'd be totally radical, and cool as well."

3."Yo, dang, blizzity blang, yo, this ain't, right, yo," says Melbourne Nagasawa, famous rapper with three platinum albums. "Dang, yo, we dang need to copy-protect my dang CDs, yo. That dang playability life dang decreases, yo, but it's the only way to stop this, dang, yo."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

Fo shizzle ma nizzle!

[SawQuart]

@renzo:

> A surprise raid conducted on ISPs over the last week in Renzo the Inscrutable shows that more than 30% of all Internet data transfer in Renzo the Inscrutable at one time or another is used by illegal file-shares to illegally distribute files, most notably songs.
>
> The Debate
> 1."What we need to do is hack their computers and format their hard drives," says Aaron Christmas, recording industry representative. "People need to be taught to not mess with the law. This is theft, pure and simple. And they're not only halving our revenue to tune of billions of Renzos, but you are also stealing a few hundredths of a Renzo from the artist for every song they steal. THINK OF THE STARVING ARTISTS!"
>
> 2."Yo, dude, like, don't be hatin' man," says teenager Calvin Hendrikson. "We're like, going to change the whole structure of our society. Everything should be like, publicly available to, like, everybody, dude. Copyrights are so, like, uncool man and we need to get rid of them. That'd be totally radical, and cool as well."
>
> 3."Yo, dang, blizzity blang, yo, this ain't, right, yo," says Melbourne Nagasawa, famous rapper with three platinum albums. "Dang, yo, we dang need to copy-protect my dang CDs, yo. That dang playability life dang decreases, yo, but it's the only way to stop this, dang, yo."
>
> This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
>
> Fo shizzle ma nizzle!

The choices with these were so confusing that I just dismissed it.

[Kusy]

You inform the World Assembly that The Armed Republic of Kusing will no longer participate in its corrupt, hollow debates. From this moment forward, your nation is on its own.

It's the last time I had to change my laws because of you faggots.

[Anna Comnena]

> The Issue
>
> Due to the ongoing wars in neighboring countries, a recent rash of illegal immigrants have been caught at the borders of Comenya, prompting many citizens to call for tighter immigration laws.
> The Debate
>
>   1\. Steffan Steele of the Comenya National Purity League says "These illegal aliens are just an eyesore with their strange customs and funny languages. Uneducated immigrants like these only worsen crime and steal valuable jobs! I say we should boot them all out on their ears and put a big fence around the country!"
>
>   2\. Roxanne Trax of the Comenya Civil Liberties Union says "We must welcome these refugees from any nation into our open arms, they are fleeing one oppressive dictatorial regime in the only way they know, we must not let them think they're jumping from the frying pan into the fire!"
>
>   3\. "Hold on there, hold on people!" says Clint Winters of the Comenya Broadcasting company, "We don't have to take either extreme, all we have to do is make a TV game show out of it! We put deadly obstacles on the border and monitor it with television cameras! Those that make it across win freedom and citizenship, and those who don't, well, lets just say that our buzzards won't starve. We could call it 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?'!"
>
>       This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
>
> The Government Position
>
> The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 3.

:cheesy: :P

Edit: YES!

> The Issue
>
> A number of well-dressed gentlemen wearing a varied assortment of swords is insisting that they be allowed to settle their private disputes on the field of honourable battle.
> The Debate
>
>   1\. "We must be permitted our inherent right to defend our honour through feats of arms!" exclaims Abraham Mistletoe, a bewigged aristocrat sporting a particularly flamboyant swept-hilt rapier. "The right to duel is one found throughout history for the honourable settling of disputes and I must insist that my right to fight be recognised! The world would be so much better - and cheaper too - if conflicts of interest were sorted through trial by combat instead of trial by jury."
>
>       This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
>
>   2\. "Swords? Heavens, what dreadful things. All sharp and pointy - quite dangerous, you know," says Peggy Hanover, an ardent pacifist. "Duelling ought to be banned! The best way to settle these kind of arguments are through trials, we all know that. If we go ahead with what these duelling nutters want then innocent people will die! It will be a sad day when people value money more than justice. Apart from lawyers, obviously."
>
> The Government Position
>
> The government has indicated its intention to follow the recommendations of Option 1.

I'm sure Anthony would appreciate this one.  ;)

[renzo]

Pirates are awesome!

Renzo the Inscrutable's merchant navy has seen increasing attacks from swashbuckling pirates in recent months, devastating Renzo the Inscrutable's foreign trade.

The Debate
1."We should blow them out of the water!" says First Lord Admiral Freddy Summers. "These waterlogged vagabonds have been plundering our ships for far too long! All our exports from the Automobile Manufacturing industry are going straight into their hands! It's downright dangerous for us to let this continue! All we require is some funding for coastal patrol boats, fleet carriers, and nuclear submarines and a free hand to show these freebooters what's what."

2."Hello," says a grog-swilling, peg-legged scurvy dog entering your office. "I'm Samuel Broadside, a mighty pirate. I'd like to suggest that instead of wasting all that money on attacking pirates you simply buy them off with barrels of bullion, jewels and Maxtopian gold! There'll still be pirates around, sure, but as long as everyone's paid off, they won't hinder your trade. Not much anyway."

3."That's the second biggest load of bilge I've ever seen!" says Captain Grapnel, CFO of Hispaniola Shipping Insurance, LLC. "Shiver me timbers, if these scurvy dogs don't be cutting into me profit margin! Me comprehensive coverage has to pay out for victims o' illegality, and of course theft be illegal in this country, bu' that be giving me an idea - what if we were to have privateers? That is to say, if ye were to make piracy legal but with a quotar o' sorts, like huntin'? That way me and mine can stay in business and ye can get a fine cut o' th' booty from licence fees! Savvy?"

This be the way the ship of state steers!(This is the decision my state is making.)

4."Come now, that's hardly fair," argues 'gentleman pirate' Taupebeard de Gauche with a bow and flourish. "There is an ancient tradition of actively redistributing wealth on the high seas, and we active redistributors serve an important role in the global economy. You would not keep a family-run bookstore from handing down its business from generation to generation, would you? We simply ask, nay, demand the same right! And get rid of the word 'pirate'. It's a slur. We are corsairs - not common sea-faring thugs."

And each of the Accept buttons say YARR!
And to dismiss it says "ARR, T'DAVEY JONES' LOCKER WITH YE ALL!"

[Anna Comnena]

> And each of the Accept buttons say YARR!
> And to dismiss it says "ARR, T'DAVEY JONES' LOCKER WITH YE ALL!"

Oh wow that's great!

[SawQuart]

> The Issue
>
> Due to the ongoing wars in neighboring countries, a recent rash of illegal immigrants have been caught at the borders of Homo Gay People, prompting many citizens to call for tighter immigration laws.
>
> The Debate
>
> Larry Wu of the Homo Gay People National Purity League says "These illegal aliens are just an eyesore with their strange customs and funny languages. Uneducated immigrants like these only worsen crime and steal valuable jobs! I say we should boot them all out on their ears and put a big fence around the country!"
>
> Elizabeth Longbottom of the Homo Gay People Civil Liberties Union says "We must welcome these refugees from any nation into our open arms, they are fleeing one oppressive dictatorial regime in the only way they know, we must not let them think they're jumping from the frying pan into the fire!"
>
> This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.
>
> "Hold on there, hold on people!" says Akira Hendrikson of the Homo Gay People Broadcasting company, "We don't have to take either extreme, all we have to do is make a TV game show out of it! We put deadly obstacles on the border and monitor it with television cameras! Those that make it across win freedom and citizenship, and those who don't, well, lets just say that our buzzards won't starve. We could call it 'Who Wants to be an Immigrant?'!"

I love #3 lol

[Anna Comnena]

-_- I just posted that issue