Mal

Thanks, y'all. I've come to find that a 100% of people I've told have been incredibly supportive; it's only the random backwoods asshats that have any real issues with it, and that's only because they're pent up religious zealots that want to impede on our pursuit of happiness simply because they're too afraid to change. :) I'll be telling the rest of my family over the Christmas break, in person, and I hope it to be as liberating as my telling everyone else has been.

Hey, y'all. Formerly known as "Budweiser" and "Cole" to a select few, I thought it about time that I do something I've been thinking about for a while, and that is… come out. Yup. I'm a full blown transitioning transwoman (MtF transsexual). I've been undergoing HRT for 4 1/2 months and I'm not looking back; I'm completely happy with the changes I've made in my life and I'm incredibly hopeful for the future going forward. I thought I'd come out since I know for a fact that I'm not the only trans* person in this community and support is sometimes difficult to find. If there are any of you out there that need support or guidance or that just want to chit chat (I'm an open book) please feel free to PM me or contact me on Skype if you need to be discrete for whatever reason. So a little about me and my history. When I was between 8 and 10 I started trying on stockings, high heels, dresses, whatever I could find. I found it to be very stimulating (not sexually), like it just felt right but very forbidden in a social setting because gender norms and roles had been firmly established in my household, but didn't express any of it to anyone. Between 13 and 16 years old I became sexual active and began sleeping with both women and men (one man in particular, my best friend). At 17 I stopped sleeping with my best male friend and went into a pretty deep depression. It was during that time that I had this incredible sense of urgency and want to transition, but became hopeless and buried those feelings due to extrinsic tension with my father who wouldn't put up with any feminine/gay crap. So I became ultra masculine and mimicked him. I joined the Army at 20 as infantry, became a killer of men (some of the best snipers in history have been women, just sayin'), and spent the next 10 years completely miserable, having 4 children and going through 2 failed marriages. At 30, after my father passed away (just this past year), I decided that it was finally time for me to be who I am and to do what will make me happy. Well, 12 months later and I'm finally transitioning and I'm far happier now than I have been in about 15 years. I have a few regrets, like I wish I had been strong enough when I was 17 to express my real gender, to seek help, and to transition; I could have probably been a model. But there isn't such a thing as "too late" when it comes to these things. There are people out there that transition as early as 10 and as old as 80; as long as we're doing what will make us happy then that's all that matters. It's also incredibly important to seek help and support and another reason why I chose to post this here. This is a very difficult thing to go through by yourself and trans* persons have a very high suicide rate; it is far from easy. So yup, that's about all I have to say 'bout that. I'm an open book like I said so feel free to ask questions or contact me privately if you're having issues with something similar or need to talk to someone regarding an unrelated topic; I'm all ears.

@'Colonello': > Wow this looks so awesome! It never snows where I live so it's great to see places like this. Yeah, wait until I post vids from the coming spring and summer. Hopefully breakup comes early this year and I can start riding the YZ around mid March.

Here's the one from yesterday. Had some goofball moments. https://youtu.be/5VZyphHJp2k

@'coffeeraptor': > Nice. I have a couple motorcycles myself. It's important to mix it up. Keep the rubber side down! :) Yeah, for sure. YFZ's are NOT easy to trail ride. Lots of throttle control and body English. Beats me up every time I ride it. My YZ250F? Soooo friggin' kush. I could ride that thing for 8 hours and still keep going. And yessir, always rubber side down! Got another hour+ long video coming up. Adjusted the camera angle. Should come out better.

@'BeNjO': > This is me to Matt: > > > [15:31:38] BeNjO MacCallaugh: ah ye I watched > > [15:31:46] BeNjO MacCallaugh: hes like oh em gee its broke > > [15:31:46] BeNjO MacCallaugh: fml > > [15:31:53] BeNjO MacCallaugh: gets a razor out to end life > > [15:31:57] BeNjO MacCallaugh: plane flys over > > [15:32:00] BeNjO MacCallaugh: of f**k off ya c**t > > [15:32:01] BeNjO MacCallaugh: drives on Lol! Something like that. But no, I have a slow leak coming from my crankcase drain bolt from it being over tightened by Yamaha so I tend to keep an eye on that side of the engine.

@'GalacticGlum': > Can't you program as well? :D > > But in all seriousness that looks fucking awesome! I wish you the best of luck. Yeah, I can still program, but I don't even enjoy it anymore. Just too exhausting mentally and I work a fairly stressful day job (lead at a manufacturing plant); riding gives me a fun outlet and it kicks my ass depending on how hard I ride. I usually ride WFO (wide f'in open), but no studs and that's snow, ice, and silt.. Lol. @'Marsh': > Looks hella fun, glad you found something to do out there. It is! Can't wait to show it all off in the Spring/Summer when it gets REALLY fun and beautiful. PS. Looks like youtube finally decided to make the 1080p version available. :)

So I quit programming and started riding (amongst other things, hehe). I love my life way more now. ;) Finally got a GoPro and decided to upload a vid. Haven't had a chance to work on camera angles and all that, but there's definitely time to get everything perfected before break up when I'll be out there multiple times a week just ridin' my YZ250F or the YFZ450R. Two things to note. Riding a sport quad in those types of conditions will beat you up. I stopped and got off for a few minutes because I wasn't going to risk going any further solo until mid January when the river is frozen solid. Still pretty sketch out there. Second, that friggin' trooper was WAY closer than what he looked to be in the vid. All I heard was an engine revving behind me and when I turned to look back I totally missed the plane and then heard it in front of me.. When I turned back forward I had a big ass tail wing in my face. When he passed the people I stopped and chatted with his damn near dipped his right wing into the drink. Bush pilots are friggin' crazy. If it's still showing 360p as the only resolution then I dunno.. I uploaded way better quality. :( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Fm0bc3nqi4

Yeah, see.. I.. just wow.. I guess if getting super low level and ultra-conservative does it for ya then by all means, but you all should be very aware that modern day CPU's and BUS speeds don't even notice a byte, or two, or three, or a million. The average person has an internet connection that is consistently over 5mb/s. A friggin' byte array and how it's arranged is the least of your worries; making something pretty and functional is. ^_^ Also, I'd love to see you expand on this. How about removing the need to pack and unpack each variable one by one (or by passing values as arguments), e.g. reflection? Is there a Java equivalent of Lidgren out there?

If you need any help with Unity or C# let me know. I'm looking for a winter project. :)

And they completely missed the premise.. The game: CTRL + V whatever is CURRENTLY in your clipboard, not what kind of junk you can randomly put in it after you've read the topic.

Bloatware. Tons of redundancies.

I love Manson. I've seen: Godsmack Staind Cold Systematic All in one concert when I was 16 back in 2001\. Cold was playing off of their Year of the Spider album, Staind was playing off of their second, Godsmack's first, no idea about Systematic. But Staind had the pit rolling the best. Cold was impressively good. I never really liked Godsmack. I've played with 2 bands and watched my cousin a dozen times or so throughout the years.

Welp, I've offered in the past so I'll offer again; if ya need any help let me know.

Why do you need all of your data accessible from several places? There should be a hierarchy. Send me some sort of diagram or rudimentary flowchart and I'll hash it out quick for ya. It takes a good minute to get things right in regards to design and other paradigms. It's not like development is linear; it's incredibly fluid and diverse.

Hoooo boy, Streets of Rage 2 and Sonic 2 had my best friend and I hooked for hours on end. We'd pull all nighters every weekend for months.

Oh boy, definitely. Morrowind for the original Xbox was absolutely amazing. I can recall doing countless Umbra rushes after making new melee characters for the sword. Best in slot until you got into Daedric zones/level ranges.

Yoshi's Island (the original for SNES). Rented it for 2 days and my transformer died when I was probably very close to the end of the game on the first day. Talking about upset. Did you know that even while the SNES was still within it's first 2-3 years of life finding a transformer was nearly impossible? If you have old electronics NEVER leave them plugged in while not in use.

It being a personal project I'd ask one simple question: So what?

FX 8350 Black Edition (4.02 ghz) 8gb ram Radeon R9 280X Samsung LED 36" It's my every day beater.. Do everything on it.

Well, if there's anything I can offer immediate help with it's definitely Lidgren. Feel free to hit me up on skype: epiphanez

Have you given any thoughts to Lidgren? I know, I know.. I'm such a fan, but it's sooo good and has a ton of really essential things in it as well as quite a few redundancies for data transfer, e.g. keep alive, priority queue, etc.

Tiled has everything you need and it doesn't take much to get collision setup with all objects imported from a *.tmx map. Used it 2 years ago to write Mavra2D. If you'd like help with anything let me know. Work is starting to slow down and I warped a hub or wheel on the quad; about time I start writing something.

They added VB.NET templates to XNA Refresh 4.0\. There's absolutely no argument against using XNA for anything.

> To each their own If only it were a matter of preference. > @[member="Budweiser"] we can't be too sure. @[member="Budweiser"] How are your projects going? Great. I'm not wasting any time writing boilerplate. :) PS. To be perfectly clear I'm not saying what this guy has written is by any means terrible or that it doesn't suit a purpose; worst case scenario it's been a learning experience and it suits his/her purpose.