jna Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 who's chuck Norris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrNova Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 Chuck Norris is our Daddy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrNova Posted November 17, 2008 Share Posted November 17, 2008 > Washington, DC– Chuck Norris, world-renowned martial arts expert and repository of super-human powers, flexed his financial muscle today instructing the Treasury Department to lower the cost of Treasury Bills. The rate for a 10 year T-Bill currently sits at a 4.662% yield, up from 4.644% on Monday. Though Treasury Department Officials did not acknowledge Chuck’s role in the decision, insiders confirm that Mr. Norris ordered the move.> > "Chuck Norris is definitely behind this move. All that Chuck wants is the stability of the American Economy. If the economy were to begin to melt-down, and banks began to fail, it would mean a lot of work for Chuck Norris," said one insider. "Chuck just really wants to be left alone to pursue his hobby of knitting sweaters."> > In the event of a bank failure, the FDIC is called in to cover the value of account holders' deposits in member Financial Institutions. Such coverage, which protects the wealth individuals and and stabilizes the economy in bad times, is insured by the FDIC, which in turn is insured by Chuck Norris.> > "The fact is that a total economic meltdown would require that Mr. Norris write a very large check to the FDIC to cover their claims, and in turn cover the claims of individuals. Mr. Norris is not at all concerned about the potential size of such a check, after all, he has the ability to write a check for any amount he wants. He just does not want to have to deal with all the paperwork that would be generated by such an event," said Chuck Norris’ Lawyer.> > Close friends of Chuck "the Killer" Norris say that he will not lose any sleep worrying about the potential tough times ahead. They say that he is just concerned with the well being of the general public. On a separate but related note they say that Chuck still plans on finding and killing former North Vietnamese Army leader General Pu Blique.> > "Besides all his amazing super powers, Chuck is just a regular-old guy," one long-time friend told GA. "He enjoys playing around and having a good laugh."> > In a related story Chuck Norris tied the Federal Reserve Board's hands again, forcing the Fed to keep interest rates steady. Norris hopes that both these moves will keep stability in the US economy and thereby keep peace and quiet in Chuck's life.> > Chuck told Generally Awesome via telephone interview, "I just really enjoy quiet. My favorite is to make things around me so quiet that everything becomes silent, dead silent!"> > Chuck Norris Facts Cited for this News Story:> > 1\. Most people understand that their bank deposits are insured by the FDIC. What most people don't understand is that the FDIC is insured by Chuck Norris.> 2\. Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".> 3\. Chuck Norris’ body is able to cash any check that his mouth writes. On a hot summer day Chuck Norris’ body even cashed a check for $537 Million that his mouth wrote. Chuck Norris used the money to buy 17 Ice Cream factories, 16 to cool himself off and 1 to obliterate for round-house kick practice.> 4\. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.> 5\. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.> 6\. Chuck Norris doesn't play "hide-and-seek." He plays "hide-and-pray-I-don't-find-you."> 7\. Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loelin Posted November 18, 2008 Author Share Posted November 18, 2008 lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zombie0hour Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 Chuck Norris can slam a reloving door Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khachaturian Posted November 19, 2008 Share Posted November 19, 2008 hehe thats a good one zombieChuck norris can use the right mouse button on a Mac mouse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dndfreak Posted November 20, 2008 Share Posted November 20, 2008 Chuck Norris can kill 100% of all germs.Chuck Norris can believe its not butter.Chuck Norris is the reason that waldo is hiding.Chuck Norris doesnt have to masturbate every time god kills a kitten. He does anyways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khachaturian Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 Those sound like they are from somewhere Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrNova Posted November 21, 2008 Share Posted November 21, 2008 I've seen some of them elswhere before.You fail. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Khachaturian Posted November 22, 2008 Share Posted November 22, 2008 Chuck norris can eat more than one lays chips…Although I think thats already been said on the internet...w/e i'm eating a bag right now, its all I could think of Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrNova Posted November 22, 2008 Share Posted November 22, 2008 When Chuck Norris gets Fag-Tagged in Gears of War, the grenade is always a dud. It knows better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 22, 2008 Share Posted November 22, 2008 Made these up randomly…Chuck norris doesnt need a stapler, he simply looks at the paper and watches it melt together.Birds dont poo on chuck norris, the droppings get within 10 feet and self destruct out of fear.Chuck norris can touch MC Hammer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ENIGMAX Posted November 24, 2008 Share Posted November 24, 2008 Chuck Norris once won a fight agents 50 dikes on bikes.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monowolf00 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Chuck Norris has broken every law ever made. Including Newton's laws. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrNova Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 I didnt make this, but never saw it before and thought it was worth posting.One time a man stopped Chuck Norris on the street and asked him what his favorite Chuck Norris fact was. Unamused, Chuck Norris lifted one eyebrow with such force that the man exploded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ENIGMAX Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 @King:> Chuck Norris has broken every law ever made. Including Newton's laws. lol that is a good one Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monowolf00 Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 I made it up, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 7, 2008 Share Posted December 7, 2008 chuck norris can devide by infinity and reach a whole number Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ENIGMAX Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 chuck norris is a transvestite O.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reguba Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 Chuck Norris once hit a man with a thesaurus, all that was left were dazzled and opprobrious witnesses. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiggilyboo Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 No one can kill Chuck Norris, Except himself. (or his mom ;)) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrNova Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 One day chuck norris got bored of kicking ass.So he roundhouse kicked with such force, it sent an energy wave back in time and made Ben Franklin discover electricity, so Chuck could watch TV in the future. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ENIGMAX Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 @Reguba:> Chuck Norris once hit a man with a thesaurus, all that was left were dazzled and opprobrious witnesses. ok that's funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reguba Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Hehe, I thought it was clever but I was beginning to think no one would get it lol :P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted December 28, 2008 Share Posted December 28, 2008 guys can sometimes have one testicle bigger than the other… each of chucks balls are bigger than the other Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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