Storylines

[Guest]

Ok i love making storylines and ive made quite a few,  eclispe is awesome and id love to help ppl out there. just give me some info and bam u got a story line. i dont have work cuz i dont rly save em lol, ill see what i can do, also please put permision if ud like me to PM or post it

IN BUISNESS!

Lets get dem requests!

-Docter Dray [Corey]

[Dark Crusade]

Provide some samples ;)

[LIlCheatah]

Doctor Dray, Some Examples?

[Khalus]

@Docter:

> link=topic=37919.msg360994#msg360994 date=1233537491]
> i dont have work cuz i dont rly save em lol

Uh, that doesn't make any sense…..you love to make stories but don't save your work, thus you can't provide any examples to prove you're a good writer.

[LIlCheatah]

If You Save some Work For us, u can proove.

[Akselj]

If you don't save then you must make one RIGHT NOW and you can save it then show it and you will get work.

[LIlCheatah]

Froms Us He, Aksel :P

[Guest]

I made the Rebellion of andirton storyline, heres a sample about slaves and rebellion lol couldnt think of anything else. Lol names are completly random.

In the world of Cuza, there was a mighty king, his name, King Slith, his goal is to enslave the whole word of Cuza. As this was happening a rebellions brewed. Slaves started to refuse to work. The Cuza economy started to fall and King Slith was losing power. As the leader of the Rebellion fell, King Slith gained more power once again, until one day, a hero was born in a distant land, Welcome to [Game Name Here]. Good Luck, and Good Faith.

[LIlCheatah]

Nice, but you can imagine some here fantasy?

[Guest]

what? lol

[Doomsalad]

…He's from spain... <.<

[jdf318]

Well, that storyline really isn't that good. Would need to be lenghtened, and would need to be of better writing quality for most to consider hiring you.

[Doomsalad]

yeah, he's kinda right…Anyways, didja get your avatar from a freewebs template jdf318 ?  :P

[LIlCheatah]

@GodSalad:

> …He's from spain... <.<

Lol , So what?

[jdf318]

@GodSalad:

> yeah, he's kinda right…Anyways, didja get your avatar from a freewebs template jdf318 ?  :P

Yep. :P

ANyway, normally I would ctritice the writing in the form of red text, but since this dosen't seem to be for a game, I'll just post some suggestions.

1\. A storyline is NOT a paragraph.

2\. … ah this is two hard, red text time!

In the world of Cuza, there was a mighty king, his name, King Slith, his goal is to enslave the whole word of Cuza. Not only does this sentence sound wierd, but the kings motives are oo unclear to be a realistic charactor. As this was happening a rebellions brewed. Slaves started to refuse to work. The Cuza economy started to fall and King Slith was losing power. As the leader of the Rebellion fell, King Slith gained more power once again, What was the whole point of mentioning the rebellion if they failed before the story and they didn't change anything? Also, who was this leader of the rebellion? Sounds like the silly slaves had never heard of a whip before if they all decided to stop working.. until one day, a hero was born in a distant land, Wait, is the player the hero? What land did he come from? Welcome to [Game Name Here]. Good Luck, and Good Faith. For what? I think your trying to say that the player has to overcome the empire, but the sentence really doesn't tell us this. Anyway, how did this king capture the whole world? Magic? A large army?

[Doomsalad]

jdf318 has a point…the motives of the game are _KINDA_ unclear(note the sarcasm).

[Drag0n]

These storylines need to be longer.

[Arenahax]

Come work with Sirema Online,
You seem pretty good at making decent storylines.

message me @ fallenwarz.yahoo.com or reply here.

[LIlCheatah]

Arena, is Sirema Online finished?

[ZeroOnlin200]

here is my story line

Story line

Before the war began the 2 races lived in Peace together, they would share their supplies, and help eachother when needed.But that all changed when the elves were growing stronger..they were making better weapons armor and even learning new spells. The elves started to share less and less of their stuff. The humans were divided into 2 groups, The dark knights and the White Knights. They were running out of fruit because the elves supplied most of the fruit. They began to notice that the elves were stronger fast and could faster than any other human so the White knights and Dark Knights be sided that hey would wipe the elves out because they feared that they would try to take over third land.

The war did not last long. The elves could easly kill the humans. When the war first began the elves would only sent 5 elves into battle and the 5 elves that returned did not even have a grain of dirt on them, they were just soaked in humans blood. Every thing was fine for the elves because the humans were no threat to them and they could make what ever they wanted just by uttering a spell. The Dark and white knights could only retreat, that's what they were going to do until the leaders of the 2 groups had a vison. That vison was that a new child would be born and could kill all the elves by himself. They say that when the child kills someone he can take there strength, knowledge, and the rest of the energy. When this child turned into a 12 year old he was sent into war. He barley survived his first fight but the Dark and white knights celebrated because the 12 year old had killed his first elf and that was the first elf that had been killed by man. After the 12 year old had killed the elv he was stronger, smarter and faster than any human in the history of the world. He killed more and elves. he would invade a elv camp site by himself and he would have been hit by a sword once. Evenly he killed a wizard and then he learned the secrets of excellent sorcery. He went to the Dark knights and he told them the secrets so the Dark knights could have excellent magic.. He  only told the White knights how use the basic of magic. After the boy had become leader of the Dark Knights he brought the White knights and dark knights the the elves only city. There he and his men killed every single elv that got in his sight.

By the time thy had got back the boy had noticed how small the white knights army was. He decided that he would launch an attack on them. The next day he got his men to invade the White knights city. The dark knights had used magic on the White knights and they were defeated ea sly and the Dark knights had gained another city. The boy became so powerfull that he got a red flame that goes around him and thunder is inside it to. People have herd a rumor that the boy had gotten the gift or immortally and he was killed he would revive but his life would start over but he would remember every thing and he would still be the same only a kid again.

It has been 158 years since the war between the dark and white knights began, The Dark Knights leader had been killed only 20 years ago and they know that he will be back. The Travers that came into the war infested lands had joined together to become know had the mercenaries they try to kill any Dark or White Knight they see but scice they have only been in the war for 5 years there bot as stronger so when the leader sends out an attack patorl more that 3/4th never return but they manage to do what they wanted to do. People have reported sitings of elves but this is only a rumor.

[Arenahax]

@[EU:

> [SB] LilCheatah link=topic=37919.msg372915#msg372915 date=1234720311]
> Arena, is Sirema Online finished?

Sirema Online is still in development, why? **And in need of a storyline writer.**