Story for my game

[Skillzalot]

I am going to be making a game but I will keep details about the game hidden but I want you guys to read my story. I have 2 chapters so far.

Chapter 1: The Formation

The creation of the world we inhabit was not a
simple task. It was created when many races tried to
flee the great enemy. This enemy has been destroying worlds
for thousands of years and the people of 1 world found a
way to get away.

The mages worked together to form a portal and this
portal was linked to the universe its self. So using this
power and theirs they were able to fashion a world that
all races would be able to live on.

So after the great migration they settled down.
This planet was perfect and nobody was worried about the
enemy. But everyone knew that one day the enemy would return
and unleash his wrath upon them again.

Chapter 2: The Arrival of Gods

There were several gods watching this planet and they
were pleased about how it was progressing but they knew what
was going to happen in the future.

Now there we 7 gods which which created the seven levels
of after life. These seven god descended on the world to tell
the planet of the enemies return. The people were worried
but knew what to do.

20 years after their prediction the portal that they
created opened and there was the enemy. He was even bigger than
before so the gods did what they could and froze him then the
mages went to work separating the enemy into many pieces and
opening portals to hide his pieces.

The plan worked for the gods told them the enemy shall
not return for thousands of years. Peace was once again theirs.

Chapter 3: The Arrival

This planet has been doing very well. The life on
it have been working together for about 200 years. They
have progressed in many ways.

They were having the usual conference but this
conference was interrupted. They looked in the sky only
to see a rock plummeting into the forest. So they sent
their best rogues,assassins and thieves to check it out.

When they returned they reported nothing was there
so life went on.

Comments and criticism appreciated

Updates
January 14 2009-Chapter 3: The Arrival added

[XxArchAngelxX]

i think  this is in the wrong section, try general chat or design

[dray777]

@ > i think  this is in the wrong section, try general chat or design

i think he's right but good storyline though!

[Falnax]

@Skillzalot:

> I will keep details about the game hidden

This is by far my least favorite part of this post. Honestly, it's a little difficult to judge the quality of something without context; and, as to the post about it being in the wrong place, I think this decision alone makes it eligible for Chit Chat.

But, on a much more positive note, about the actual story itself, the base concept is fairly good. The fact that mages are constantly the saviors of the world is a little obsessive, but perfectly alright if the game is only about mages (which, though it sounds limiting, is completely doable); if warriors, rogues, other classes are presented as class options, then it should rationally follow that they would also have some important role in history.

Though, it really doesn't read in a very visible way. The fact that "the enemy" has no name, no motive, and very few presented traits makes it very hard to feel threatened by him. That's fine for an outline, an abstract, but you definitely want to make sure to develop the characters on implementation.

[Skillzalot]

Like i said this is just the rough copy and thanks for the input. Just so you know the enemy is a world destroyer and when he found out the races escaped he wanted revenge. Also your note on how it is hidden is because It is going to be 3d and I have not planned that much. Also the other classes will get their time in the light but it takes magic to open a portal. Wait for Chapter 3 The Arrival

[Falnax]

@Skillzalot:

> Also the other classes will get their time in the light but it takes magic to open a portal. Wait for Chapter 3 The Arrival

I have nothing against the idea of you fixing it in a later post, just make sure that you actually deliver, and don't just plan to make it work. Often times, people argue that something they'll post later will fix the problem, when in reality it never comes. As to the information you gave about the enemy? Tell the people who are going to read your story, not just me.

@Skillzalot:

> It is going to be 3d and I have not planned that much.

Now, this is an interesting statement…how much research have you done into 3D game design? Because, as someone who has done both, I can safely say that 3D is more complicated in every way, and requires a much bigger, more skilled team with far more free time than a 2D game would. So, if you thought that making an Eclipse game was hard, this will be far harder.

[Skillzalot]

I never thought eclipse was hard but my friend is giving me this engine that is 2 gigs and has 2.5 gigs worth of addons so ya ill be learning 3d game design. As for the languages it is in Python and ruby which i know pretty well and C++ that is what im having trouble with. So I am working hard on this and I want to go to college for video game development

[Techno 5.0]

@Skillzalot:

> So I am working hard on this and I want to go to college for video game development

same here man
im trying to impress with coming out with some games to show them
i want to Finish two games atleest
ones Called Algerath (the ORPG)
and Algerath Tactics (Which is 100% based on after the book)

i want to get into Full Sail

[Falnax]

@Skillzalot:

> I never thought eclipse was hard but my friend is giving me this engine that is 2 gigs and has 2.5 gigs worth of addons so ya ill be learning 3d game design. As for the languages it is in Python and ruby which i know pretty well and C++ that is what im having trouble with. So I am working hard on this and I want to go to college for video game development

Oh, that's good to hear. Carry on, then. Do you have a 3D graphics designer yet? Because those are mandatory, and since there's a lot of very complex tasks that entails (modeling, skinning, rigging, animating…), if you don't have one, make sure to get on the lookout for one sooner, rather than later.

[XxArchAngelxX]

i smell sarcasm….

anyway, eclipse is easier than any 3D engine i have ever seen (and will ever see)

[Devogen]

If your having trouble with C, then I seriously wish you all the best with Python scripting.

I suggest Torque3D if your willing to go that extra step, but really in all honesty I wouldnt get too many hopes up in the 'finished' games department. When you add the 3rd Axis, all hell breaks loose.

[Skillzalot]

That's where where im set. I have a Ruby,and C++ programmer ready to start development as soon as i get the engine. I also have 2 3d modelers wanting to help.Not to mention i have a web site designer and everything. So im set