nickko Posted May 15, 2009 Author Share Posted May 15, 2009 An allied commander in WWII, and an avid fan of surfing, Captain Jack Malcolm Thorpe Fleming Churchill aka "Fighting Jack Churchill" aka "Mad Jack" was basically the craziest motherfucker in the whole damn war. He volunteered for commando duty, not actually knowing what it entailed, but knowing that it sounded dangerous, and therefore fun. He is best known for saying that "any officer who goes into action without his sword is improperly dressed" and, in following with this, for carrying a sword into battle. In WWII. And not one of those sissy ceremonial things the Marines have. No, Jack carried a fucking claymore. And he used it, too. He is credited with capturing a total of 42 Germans and a mortar squad in the middle of the night, using only his sword.Churchill and his team were tasked with capturing a German fortification creatively called "Point 622." Churchill took the lead, charging ahead of the group into the dark through the barbed wire and mines, pitching grenades as he went. Although his unit did their best to catch up, all but six of them were lost to silly things like death. Of those six, half were wounded and all any of them had left were pistols. Then a mortar shell swung in and killed/mortally wounded everyone who wasn't Jack Churchill. When the Germans found him, he was playing "Will Ye No Come Back Again?" on his bagpipes. Oh, we didn't mention that? He carried them right next to his big fucking sword.After being sent to a concentration camp, he got bored and left. Just walked out. They caught him again, and sent him to a new camp. So he left again. After walking 150 miles with only a rusty can of onions for food, he was picked up by the Americans and sent back to Britain, where he demanded to be sent back into the field, only to find out (with great disappointment) the war had ended while he was on his way there. As he later said to his friends, "If it wasn't for those damn Yanks, we could have kept the war going another 10 years!"The Best Hollywood Could Come Up With:Colonel Bill Kilgore (Robert DuVall) from Apocalypse Now, of "I love the smell of napalm in the morning" fame.Well, truth be told, they're pretty much the same person. They're both at home on the battlefield, they have the same philosophies of war and both of them seem to be immune to mortar fire and bullets. Churchill's basically a crazier, Scottish version of Kilgore. With a big fucking broadsword. Like if Kilgore was played by William Wallace from Braveheart on crystal meth.HOLY SHIT that guy is awesome Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hippoman789 Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 daddy is fibbin again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jna Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Looks interesting but sadly tl;drIll read it when I'm in the mood. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hippoman789 Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 tl;dr? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jna Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 too long ; didn't read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hippoman789 Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 ah i see.k then.READ IT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 hahaha, sonofab was playing on veteran with nothing but his melee and still kicked nazi assgod bless scotland Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xeross Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 Haha, Fucking awesome.Regards, Xeross Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fruitpunch Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 holy shit its real[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Churchill) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reguba Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 He just went into my book of heroes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smallbro Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 i might add him to my history exam somewhere… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fruitpunch Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 @Smallbro:> link=topic=44445.msg449377#msg449377 date=1242418545]> i might add him to my history exam somewhere…bonus question maybe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drummerpete Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 He sounds fucked in the head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fruitpunch Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 @☼verdrive:> He sounds fucked in the head.he's the real life forrest gump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BRiM570N3 Posted May 15, 2009 Share Posted May 15, 2009 That was one of the craziest things I've ever heard. But the Nazis had to shit their pants when some highlander dude comes running at them with a huge sword….hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homicidal Monkey Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 he is probably Chuck Norris's father. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reguba Posted May 16, 2009 Share Posted May 16, 2009 Ha, I watched some stuff on youtube called "Warumentaries" or something of the sort and they had all these guys who were absolute badasses to say the least. The first guy they talk about is just plain cool, they talk about Churchill third I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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