Harris6310 Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 Ehem…100 years ago a great Civilization stood. It was called Domainia, A massive empire built on the powers of light. The empire was ruled by the Order of Light, A group of five Humans with extraordinary powers. The rulers would all meet up at the top of the Erator Tower to discuss the matters of the empire. One day the rulers were discussing if the tax on chicken should be raised, And they were interrupted by a monk with some important news. The monk explained to the rulers that there was some sort of dark power emanating from the tower. One of the rulers, Krosus said that he too sensed this dark power. The rulers immediately put over matters to the side and started to discuss this important issue. After a while of conversing, the rulers decided that the dark power was coming from one of there own. One of them was corrupt. All of them were shocked and devastated that someone would betray the others like that. The monk suggested a way of finding out which one had passed over to the other side. All rulers had to hold a magic stone in their hand and the one that glowed would show the culprit. At first no ones stone started to glow, but after a few seconds the ruler, Darkros`s stone started to shake violently. He hurriedly pulled out his sword and swiftly striked Krosus. He fell on to the marble floor, slain and defeated. With ease Darkos rushed for the door pushing Hermas out of his way. Darkos was never seen again.Shortly after, Hermas and Korii left the Order of Light and Harris was left to rule the empire by himself. Darkos was said to of ran to the northern region of Domaina were he would plot his plans to try to take over the empire.Tell me what you think please!NOTE: Yes, Yes, I did put myself in the story. I turn out to be King! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Comnena Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 Not too bad… but that was 100 years ago, what has happened since? Are the members of the order still around? Is it just Harris' kingdom now? Where did the other two survivors go? To hunt down Darkos? A lot of questions but this is a good thing, it gives you a lot of story arc options for your game.On the technical side, you need to avoid the wall of text you have, and clean up a few spelling/grammar errors. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waffles Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 7/10i have two questions what happened to the other guys? What is your role in the game like what are you in the game? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harris6310 Posted March 17, 2009 Author Share Posted March 17, 2009 Awnsering the question about the two other members of the order of light. Hermas becomes a monk and joins a monestry in the west and kori becomes a skilled blademaster. But you find that, and the rest of the story when you play the game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Comnena Posted March 17, 2009 Share Posted March 17, 2009 You could've answered "with the order shattered they left to find their own paths" or something. Also, raising the tax on chickens? Seems pretty lame, why do you have to specify that as their business? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harris6310 Posted March 18, 2009 Author Share Posted March 18, 2009 IDK, I wanted to make a bit of it funny Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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