Background story of my game

[quintensky]

i wrote a background story for my game, and i like it so i wanted to share it with you all :)
the story cuts straight to the point, the start is something like this (reeeaally short version):
the king told the brave knight to look for his fellow knights who have gone missing a while ago.
enjoy :)

He looked around him, and saw a bright light from behind the waterfall. ''i need to find them!'' he shouted as he entered the waterfall. ''whats this?!'' he yelled when he noticed there was a huge dungeon crawling with monsters, and other forms of evil.

brave as he was, he continued. he explored dungeon after dungeon fighting the evil monsters who tried to keep him from entering a room at the very end of the dungeon, the brave knight entered the room, where he found fellow knights with their hands chained to the huge wall behind them, blood on the ground, weird glowing stones with strange marks on them. the knight tried to release his friends, but the chains were too strong. suddenly… footsteps, heavy footsteps. he looked behind him and saw a giant demon, horns as long as the knights arms on its head, eyes, burning with wrath. the demon growled, and quickly attacked the knight. a heavy fight began. it was clear... one of them had to die.

the demon plunged it's nails into the knights heavy armour, destroying it with ease.. unarmed, the knight jumped onto the back of the demon, grabbed one of his horns. and pulled with all the strength he had left. the horn broke. a loud scream filled the dungeon, alarming the demon's minions.after a few minutes of fighting, the knight ,who still had the demon horn in his hand, plunged the horn into the demons skull. a loud cracking sound emerged. it was clear that the demon had died. the demon horn was far stronger than his sword and with that horn, he broke the chains which held the knights in a tight grip.

shortly after that the demon's minions entered the room, the knights jumped up and united. there were five knights, and a few thousand minions, but the knights rushed to attack, deafeating minion after minion. the brave knight noticed an arm on the ground, it had a tattoo on it: ''Knight of the sky''. it was the arm of a fellow knight, it had been chopped off by a minion. the brave knight was determined to get out of there alive. he shouted as loud as he could: '' we have got to get out of here!'' he swung the demon horn from side to side, clearing the way to the exit, the other knights followed him, crushing a few minions on the way out. once they were out of the dungeon, they cheered of joy. they survived, the brave knight noticed that only four knights got out of the dungeon. on of the knights was still in the dungeon. the brave knight prepared himself to go back inside, but the other knights stopped him. ''what are you doing?!'' he said  ''i have to go back!''. ''it's too late... he is dead''.

a few days later, the brave knights started having nightmares about the arm that was on the ground, that day behind the waterfall. he jumped up, and called the other knights for a meeting. the brave knight suggested that the four of them would unite, and form a alliance. ''and to honour the knight that didn't survive, we will call this alliance: SkyKights''. the other knights agreed with him.

The Skyknights are still recruiting, to expand their alliance.

i know its a bit long :P but i kinda like it :)
feedback please :)

[quintensky]

few typo's and grammar issues, but english isn't my original language, so please post them so i can change them :)

[Roxanna]

Blocks of texts are hard for me to read. xD Maybe some paragraphs?
And if people didn't point out mistakes/typos. How would you improve? Your grammar could use some work though.
Now, it could've been written better.

(O= 100th Post)

[Todoras]

@quintensky:

> i wrote a background story for my game, and i like it so i wanted to share it with you all :)
> the story cuts straight to the point, the start is something like this (reeeaally short version):
> the king told the brave knight to look for his fellow knights wh had been missing for a while.
> enjoy :)
>
> He looked around him, and saw that there came a bright light from behind the waterfall. ''i need to find them!'' he shouted as he entered the waterfall. ''whats this?!'' he yelled when he noticed there was a huge dungeon crawling with monsters, and other forms of evil. brave as he was, he continued. he explored dungeon after dungeon fighting the evil monsters who tried to keep him from entering a room at the very end of the dungeon, the brave knight entered the room, where he found fellow knights with their hands chained to the huge wall behind them, blood on the ground, weird glowing stones with strange marks on them. the knight tried to release his friends, but the chains were too strong. suddenly… footsteps, heavy footsteps. he looked behind him and saw a giant demon, horns as long as the knights arms on its head, eyes, burning with wrath. the demon growled, and quickly attacked the knight. a heavy fight began. it was clear... one of them had to die. the demon plunged it nails into the knights heavy armour, destroying it with ease.. unarmed, the knight jumped onto the back of the demon, grabbed one of his horns. and pulled with all the strength he had left. the horn broke. a loud scream filled the dungeon, alarming the demon's minions.after a few minutes of fighting, the knight ,who still had the demon horn in his hand, plunged the horn into the demons skull. a loud cracking sound emerged. it was clear that the demon had died. the demon horn was far stronger than his sword and with that horn, he broke the chains which held the knights in a tight grip. shortly after that the demon's minions entered the room, the knights jumped up and united. there were five knights, and a few thousand minions, but the knights rushed to attack, deafeating minion after minion. the brave knight noticed an arm on the ground, it had a tattoo on it: ''Knight of the sky''. it was the arm of a fellow knight, it had been chopped off by a minion. the brave knight was determined to get out of there alive. he shouted as loud as he could: '' we have got to get out of here!'' he swung the demon horn from side to side, clearing the way to the exit, the other knights followed him, crushing a few minions on the way out. once they were out of the dungeon, they cheered of joy. they survived, the brave knight noticed that only four knights got out of the dungeon. on of the knights was still in the dungeon. the brave knight prepared himself to go back inside, but the other knights stopped him. ''what are you doing?!'' he said  ''i have to go back!''. ''it's too late... he is dead''.
>
> a few days later, the brave knights started having nightmares about the arm that was on the ground, that day behind the waterfall. he jumped up, and called the other knights for a meeting. the brave knight suggested that the four of them would unite, and form a alliance. ''and to honour the knight that didn't survive, we will call this alliance: SkyKights''. the other knights agreed with him.
>
> The Skyknights are still recruiting, to expand their alliance.
>
> i know its a bit long :P but i kinda like it :)
> feedback please :)

Dude you Live In A Museum???!!
Your Are Good At Writing Books you should check that!
But I when I read I said "Wtf So many questions."
And then I said "meh I am bored of writing anyways…"

[quintensky]

@Kapoisio:

> But I when I read I said "Wtf So many questions."

what do you mean so many questions?

[quintensky]

@Roxanna:

> Blocks of texts are hard for me to read. xD Maybe some paragraphs?
> And if people didn't point out mistakes/typos. How would you improve? Your grammar could use some work though.
> Now, it could've been written better.
>
> (O= 100th Post)

changed everything you said :P

gz on 100th post :)

[Medleyy]

It's unoriginal and has no structure. Would you honestly mind if I re-wrote it? I get OCD with these things.

[quintensky]

you may rewrite it :)
as long as you give it to me afterwards XD (you WILL get credit :))

[Roxanna]

Lol Aeri.
o-o' Would've re-wrote it. But I had no time.