Old World Plot Writing

[lurv]

I'm writing story for my game Old World. This is a shorter summary rather than full-dialogue. Some elements are a bit cliché but vital to fit the gameplay.

(adventurer) replaced with your character name.

The plot revolves around (adventurer).  A supposed amnesiac who washed up on the shores outside the town of Lum. (adventurer) enters Lum. (adventurer) is quickly overcome with nausea and a mind-piercing headache as he faints. (adventurer) wakes up in a castlebed, with a beauty leaning over his bed, fast asleep at his side. As though natural, he gets out of the bed and is struck with two thoughts: Where am i? What happened?

The sleeping beauty wakes up, rubs her eyes and utters a name; (adventurer)?

The headache runs wild again. "(adventurer)?". Who's "(adventurer)?". The beauty explains to (adventurer) that his name is indeed (adventurer). After all, it said so in the ID that was in his uniform. "(adventurer)…" Echoes through his mind. It's his name. Why of course, how could he ever forget the name his parents gave him?

The beauty introduces herself as the princess of Lum and tells (adventurer) that she found him at the gates of town when on a stroll. Everybody was avoiding the poor adventurer lying face down in the dirt, so she took him in, even though the king was very against it. But knowing how stubborn she was, the king let (adventurer) sleep in the castle.

There's a ruckus in the castle halls. (adventurer) and the princess look at each other, both wearing a puzzled look. The door bursts open.

"A cat? A cat-looking.. thing?", exclaims (adventurer).
The cat just stares at (adventurer) with an intense look, the tension growing stronger and stronger every millisecond that passes.
"W-wha-" (adventurer) is cut off.
"I-it's one of them! We've found one of them!", the cat stutters while hyperventilating.

The king runs in with his servant, both panting.

"What's with all the commotion?", says the king while trying to catch his breath.

The cat, eyes still fixated on (adventurer), utters the same words again.
"I-it's one of them!"

The king's heart skips a beat. Did he really just hear what he thinks he did?
"Are you sure?", the king tries to ask, but is cut off half-way.

It's explained that the cat is a rare species born only when global catastrophes are about to occur. The cat can also prophesize how to prevent the catastrophe from happening.
"This is one of the people that will destroy the warplague!", the cat shouts triple-exclamatively.

The king and the cat explain the warplague is a plague created by an vengeful god that is killing the earth and infecting people. Although the disease spreading to people as well is rare, but if nothing is done, the chance of it spreading to humans will increase exponentionally, ultimately destroying the both the planet and the human race.

The cat explains that to stop the warplague, you have to find eight spirits with great influence on history, find the heart of the world and bring them there to pray. Only then will the planet be vaccinated against the plague and ultimately with nowhere to go, the plague will be destroyed.

Filled with a sense of duty, (adventurer) decides to head out to find these eight spirits. Just as (adventurer) is about to leave, the princess shouts
"Wait!"
The princess asks (adventurer) to take her with him on his journey, but the king strictly protests knowing it's a dangerous journey, for the fear of his daughter's life.
She makes a speech about how she can't just stand around and do nothing while (adventurer) risks his life to protect the planet and humanity. 
"I have to help. I can take care of myself. I'm not weak. I can't let more people fall victim to the warplague!"
But the king still persists. She was not going to leave on that journey. Absolutely not.
The princess sighed and looked down in defeat.
"Okay, then.. Father.."

The princess headed up the stairs and back into her room.

The king and the cat now give the player a tutorial on controls, commands, how to fight and abilities.
At the end of the tutorial, the princess comes running down the stairs dressed differently with a bag on her back.
"(adventurer)!!!"
She runs past the king and the cat and grabs (adventurer) by his arm, tugging him along with great speed.
"(PrincessName)!!!", the king shouts, his facial expression filled with both surprise and anger.

You are now taken outside the town in the overworld, where the princess says that her aunt knows about one of the spirits and that they should visit her.

The story is now divided into 7 arcs. Why 7 and not 8? There are plot twists. If you'd like to hear them, i can spoil it for you :)
Also, i need a name for the princess. Anybody got ideas?

[Irij47]

Interesting story. However, I do believe the King made a horrible mistake in allowing a stranger into his castle and letting him sleep with his daughter. Why was he washed up on the shore? Was his boat destroyed by Moby Dick or was he an outcast from another land, thrown onto the shore and left to starve due to rape allegations back at home. Which leads back to my main point, the King made a mistake letting him in.

Secondly, the adventurer or cat is extremely lucky to have lived that much tension of those many milliseconds. I don't think I could have done it myself, which proves im not much of a hero. So at least you have a mentally strong adventurer. Now why is this vengeful God creating the plague? Did mankind wrong him or is he the equivalent of Satan? Just wants to destroy mankind spiritually (or in this case, physically). Therefore is there a good God or Goddess? The Princess is mighty brave to risk her life to travel with this stranger.

Thirdly, I am really happy to see that the adventurer is receiving a tutorial on controls. Hate to seem him go out of control and back face down on a beach. If the Aunt knows about these spirits, why can't she just go get them and pray to the heart? Also I'm also curious on the breed of this cat because I'm in the market to purchase such an exotic animal. I do hope to play this game in hopes of answering my questions, good work.

Btw, you should name the princess Diana.

[lurv]

Yeah, the king had to give up due to her stubbornness and nagging.
The adventurer is a ressurrected individual from thousands of years ago, which makes him the 8th soul to collect. Yes, you yourself are one of the souls.
Your body materializes at the bottom of the sea. And yes, there is a 'good' god. The vengeful god used to be one, but here's his story:

He used to watch over a town of humans, giving them fertile crops and rain.
When the crops died because the humans weren't taking care of them properly, the humans got angry.
They chased the god out of their town and destroyed his shrine.
The god knew it wasn't his fault. But the humans hated him anyways.
The hate created hate, and so a vengeful god was born.

The princess is killed by the mad god after the 4th soul is collected. She comes back at the end of the game where you find out she's the 7th soul and you are the 8th soul.

The aunt can't go and collect these souls because she's not very strong. The souls reside withing war-torn fields and caves where other monsters and problems occur.