Shalaren

Also Naruto I'll get back to you 

Yeah I see what you mean. Hmm I'll think of a few things and let you know what I came up with. But I'll probably need some help with ideas of sorts. In a way I want to keep the story away from gods and holy beings of that kind. I kind of want to make a story of how magic became to be. Has nothing to do with gods. Maybe two dimensions collide or something like that. Something that will explain how the Magnus found magic. And yeah with that explain how technology involving magic evolved. Makes sense?

actually I have, not too much, but I did think of things like mechanical swords and things like that, like a futuristic/fantasy theme. that instead of using electricity, they use the little magic they had left. machines that go on magic. never thought it trough though. what do you think? and as for quests, hmm how would that work?

3

however, he likes

it's a pretty generic MMORPG game play, the biggest thing for me in games is enjoying a good story line instead of a grind fest to be the strongest. this Idea for a project is just to have every detail have a part in the story line. its mostly based of quests, and dungeons (Party quests) where players will have to team up to complete. and dungeons shouldn't be just "exterminate all monsters", it should have puzzles and clues everywhere. biggest thing for me is having a player's action affect the whole game, and that Ill call events, which players will participate in. the events are very story based, and happen in certain time, meaning you can miss it if you dont play while it happens, but there is a way around it, ill go more into it further below. ill give an example of an event. lets say a town is on fire, it will be for all players, and you could participate in this event which is just a part of the story line, upon participating in events players will receive Event points, which they can trade for some special Items, (like cash Items, instead this game inst going to require anyone paying any cash, just participation), so there are empty buckets everywhere and a lake near by, you are asked by one of the npc's to bring those buckets to he lake and bring them back to kill the fire, while you do it you'll enjoy a good story line. for those who couldn't be there on the event, there will be a quest available, except it'll be a bit different, there the npc will tell the player what HAPPENED, and will ask the player to get buckets of water for just in case another fire breaks out. the situation is different, but still fills you in with the story line. yet this whole Idea is still pretty generic, but it all depends on how its going to play out in the end. so in this game you just start with low lvl armor and at a low lvl area, in a tutorial zone, (like a typical mmo), and then you are thrown into the game where quests and dungeons will be available, and the main thing will be to have as many things to be available to do as possible to avoid any grind fest. as for classes, I still have no Idea what they should be, that's something that I wish to be very original, I want to stay away from the Typicall classes for this theme (warrior, Mage, Hunter), I still might need to change the story a bit, because it is too involved with magic, for that I also need your suggestions S: maybe a different source of power for the Magnus, and magic is just another element on the side, this way we can say that some Magnus were fighters and some mages while some are hunters. you get the Idea,

> You might want to spell check your sentences before you criticise someone else's literature. I really doubt you've won any competitions to do with literature - you can't even capitalise nouns. he gave me criticism just like I asked him to. he said he won it in his language, not in English. not all languages have capital letters.

oh lol I didnt think Ill ever get a reply here. with Help from Placido the story has changed (still same basis) but the names are different, Magic force = The Shroud Originals = Magnus Soci True Order however I can't think of anything xD here take a look >! Magic. One of the greatest mysteries of this world, from simple magic capable of levitating objects off the ground to conjuring powerful lightning storms. It takes on many forms and yet it is bound by none. To use such mysterious and sometimes terrifying power one must have the right knowledge,understanding and mentallity to control it. However not everyone is born to use it as it is a birthright only granted to a few. >! The eight Magnus Soci (Pronounced So-kai) the very first weilders of magic filled with tremendous powers, were the to first discover the mysterious forces of magic, How they had done so remains a mystery. Each of the Magnus Soci had seen it fit to pass on their knowledge to students who in turn taught to their own students and slowly magic had become more widespread in the world of Shalaren. Magic had made living much easier, creating vast improvements in the fields of Agriculture, Travel and most importantly in Warfare. People were quick to notice that magic was also useful not only in improving lives but in taking them as well. The Order of the Maestre founded by the eight Magnus Soci the first wielders of magic had seen over the years the caos that magic had caused and thus they created the Shroud,An elite force of sorcerers with only one task. >! To regulate the use of magic from the shadows. The Shroud did their work well. Too well for that matter as many magical users had been slain by their religious zeal to fufill their duty to the Maestre. Soon it had become an unspoken rule that those who use magic, regardless of their position or occupation will be swiftly silenced permenently. The Maestre thinking that the Shroud's actions had solved their problem had breathed a sigh of relief. The world was finally at peace. >! How very wrong they were. >! Soon leaders from all over the world had begun to rise up in open revolt to fight for their freedom to use magic. The Eight Magnus Soci sought to calm these leaders through peaceful negotiations, However they could not be swayed by mere words and thus they had to be silenced by force. With a heavy heart they gave the order and the Shroud sprung into action silently stiffling the voices of the rebellion. At least that was the initial plan. >! The major powers of the rebellion had managed to convince some of the more prominent and powerful Sorcerers to join their cause and a vicious and terrible battle ensued between the sides that rallied to the Maestre's flag and those who opposed them. The rampant use of magic by both forces had caused reality to shift and dissolve causing most individuals to descend into madness. >! Lucius, A Magnus Soci and a very well educated Sorcerer and also a well known leader in the Shroud, had managed to create a spell to limit the use of magic throughout the world. The raging flames of war had been cooled. Everyone's magical abillity had begun to weaken slowly over the course of days, some even losing their abillity to use magic completely. The Enchanter's Seal as they called it brought peace throughout the land. The leaders of the uprising had accepted their loss of access to magic seeing as even the Eight Magnus Soci were stripped of their own magical abillity. And thus peace took it's hold on the land. >! At least for awhile… >! The other Seven Magnus Soci resented their loss of magical abillity and demanded Lucious to break the Seal. They claimed that they were wrong and that humanity needed magic as the people had grown too accostomed in using it. However their true goal was power, Power over the weak and to be looked upon as Gods among men. Lucius begged them to give the seal a chance, It will bring peace he argued but his pleas fell on deaf ears. >! The Magni rallied upon those still loyal to them and formed a new union which they called the "True Order". Knowing that Lucious' death would destroy the seal as he was the one that had created it. Although the Magni who opposed Lucious only held a shadow of the power they once weilded they still managed to consolodate all their powers into one last powerful spell of destruction. Lightning struck the earth violently, the earth split asunder and the winds howled in rage. >! All this just to kill one. Lucius however had managed to gather those loyal to him within the Shroud and as destruction raged around them he was protected by the powerful magic of his allies. Lucious knew that the seal was the cause of this madness and that only he could control it. Upon realizing this it was up to him to seal himself and the rest of the Magni forever. The Seal held great magic poweful enough to entomb the Magni in a powerful spell sealing them away for all eternity and scattering them through out the landscape to be forgotten throughout time. >! However the True Order remained,creating chaos driven by only one purpose, To break Enchanter's Seal. However few had risen up against the tyrnical Order intending to thwart their plans of breaking the seal. >! These brave men and women are the Heroes of Shalaren and it is up to them to stop the Order and trully bring peace to this world. >! suggestions and critic?

looking forward to working with you  at the moment I'm mainly focusing on Idea's and Concepts. so Placido, thats why there are lots of holes in the story. in a way I like those holes, because this way it leaves room for more creativity in the future, I wan't to base the future of the game on player's suggestions. @Placido, just to remind you, you do have the freedom to change things in the story (if reasonable), there are many openings and open ends in this story for a reason though. Reading over your version of the story, I realized there is more that should be given attention to. The Order of the Maestre, and the rebellion for example, Chapter one isn't official, that's why I asked for help rewriting it P:

yeah you're right. hmm well all there is, the Shroud was created after the last Magnus was born, not much time difference there, after lets say 100 years of magic being passed down, things began going out of control. and it was 100 years later when the Enchanter's seal Sealed away all the Magnus. so basically they were sealed away 200 years after the Shroud was created. (The shroud is 500 years old therefore) for 300 years the True Order has caused chaos in ways it could, along with trying to seek for power, and possibly one day find out how to break the seal. -ranged from 10 to 30 years after the Enchanter's seal was casted. the True order came to Athreway and cursed it, they left however after 2 years to cause chaos somewhere else. magic has eventually left with them. -Richard had been the captain of the first house for lets say around 50 years. therefore he must be old. -Alfren has been a captain for 10 years and Hylda has been for 7 years. (since 3 were introduced, there should be 2 more captains) -Every time a captain passes away, someone from the first house will take their place. The game takes place 300 years after the Seal. you start as a villager with basically no power. There were minor events that happened. actually The Athreway one is sorta minor, just takes a big role in the beginning. but as for chapter one, thats it. I'm trying to keep things separated because there's just too much. I'm trying to keep the chapter as simple as possible, and ill just go into the rest when Ill start working on chapter 2, which isn't any time soon. if there is any other questions ill be glad to answer them  again, thank you.

yeah for sure, Ill try to answer all your questions. I just didn't include details like that because I'm trying to leave some parts of the story out, so players will have to play in order to find out more. I want to make it a more clear story throughout the quest line. sorry for the confusion. _How old are the Magnus exactly through out the story?_ They are ageless, the story behind them is that they found the Life tree and burned it down after having a taste of it. they were sealed away 200 years later. throughout the 200 years they passed the knowledge of magic down and made the magic force and the true order. The Life tree should remain a mystery, no need to go into that much. _How many years have passed since the events of the Background story?_ three hundred years. didnt think that was an important factor, sorry S:, _Why are they fighting the Order? Or where they originally opposed to it in the first place?_ The true order are the bad guys, made by the Magnus seeking for power. The Magic force, or how you named it, The Shroud Kept developing over the years even though all the magnus are gone they keep the order with the little magic that's left in the world. the True order however think that they'll reach order through Chaos, some Npc's will call them "The true Chaos" _How old are they?_ uhh the captains? idk, never considered that being important. however if it is, you have the freedom to choose. the game takes place 300 years after the Enchanter's seal. throuhout the years the Shroud made 5 houses for recruitment. beginners jopin the 5th house, and as you go up the chain, eventually high lvl's will be ranked as Residents of the first house.

Bump! Still looking for a team! If you think you can help in any way, (pixel art, digital art, website developers and animation makers) all skills out there can be put to good use 

Ill have to come up with a name that would suit them better, something that will sell the fact that they are the very first sorcerers. but ill stay with Magnus for now while other concepts are being worked on. still very good job  I enjoyed reading the story. >  > > > >! Athreway Village was the home of Lucius, one of the Eight Originals. after the Enchanter's seal has sealed away all 8 Originals, The true order were determined to find ways to destroy everything that related to Lucius, and so they came to Athreway Village and cursed the village. sand began rising from the ground, forming a ball of sand with two glowing eyes, they called it a Sandster, it was created to destroy everything in its path. while the villagers were fighting the Sandster, more Sandsters began rising around the village, bringing an uneven battle. however after a two year long battle, the True order was long gone, causing chaos elsewhere, and, the Villagers won the battle when the magic inside the Sandsters has dissappeard, and all they were is a lifeless circular statue with empty holes for eyes. > >! 300 years later, Captain Alfran of the third house, and Captain Hylda of the fourth house (the magic force has 5 houses) traveled to Athreway all the way from Adalyn to warn the villagers that magic is approaching its way back to their land, and that it might mean the Sandsters will rise once more. Alfran and Hylda are recruiting brave heroes who will help in battle against the returning enemy! > > > >! The Sandsters did rise again like the captains predicted, but the army the captains created with the recruitment was able to hold them off. Captain Richard of the First house has eventually traveled to Athreway as well, to inform Alfran and Hylda that they might lose their position as captains, and to take them back with him to Adalyn to be judged by the magic force. Apparently Alfran and Hylda weren't permitted to leave their station, nor were permitted to start a recruitment, going to Athreway was Alfran and Hylda's decision because they knew of the history of the Sandsters, they presented the issue to the Magic force, however the rest of the magic force agreed that they have bigger issues to deal with. Alfran and Hylda being determined to help Athreway, the home of the known hero 'Lucius', left Adalyn without being permitted to. > >! Richard doesn't seem to approve of the recruitment, but because they have rules for recruiting individuals, he can't ignore it, and decided to put the brave heroes to test. those who pass will join the 5th house, and those who fail will be left behind. after having so many heroes pass his test, Richard agreed to ignore Alfran and Hylda's act, and told them to say their goodbyes as they and all the heroes will be leaving with him back to Adalyn. every chapter has a story, in this post I provided a quick summary of what is happening in there. so just like you did to the background story, this needs more detail and needs to be more thrilling, you have the freedom to change details, or infact add more situations or conflicts in the story. the questline in the game will be based of these stories, altough this is just a background story of the CHAPTER, to truly know and experience the story, one has to PLAY the game. so that's the next writing assignment. +I now will include the team in the first post for those who contacted me here and in PM

Awesome, I really enjoyed reading it. thanks you! although, Magnus Soci? what does it mean or in what language is it? P: I do like the name Shroud for the Magic Force. some additional changed will be added however I will use most of it probably, and you will be credited as promised  there's other things to be written, if you are interested, let me know!

I really liked Firefox, but for some reason sometimes it would just freeze and completely mess up with my computer o-o so now Im using chrome, didn't have any trouble yet.