[HOW TO] How to Eat a Cookie

[Keal]

**How to Eat a Cookie**

Have you ever wondered how to eat a cookie? I mean, it can be so complicated. This article will give step-by-step directions to eat that cookie you've been dying to have.
**Disclaim: I AM NOT RELIABLE IF YOU GET: KILLED, RAPED, ATTACKED, SEXUALLY ASSAULTED, OR GET CANCER!!!**
**Steps**

**  1.**
Get a cookie. It can be anything from Oreos to chocolate chip. Just get a cookie.
**  2\.**
Put it in your hand. Just hold it. **DO NOT SEXUALLY ASSAULT YOUR COOKIE!!!**
**  3.**
Move your hand to your mouth. Not in your nose, ears, butt.
**  4\.**
Put the cookie in your mouth. Not in your nose, ears, butt.
**  5\.**
Chew the cookie. As much as you want. Just chew it until you are able to swallow. **THIS PART IS TRICKY!!!**
**  6\.**
Swallow the cookie, down you esophagus it goes.
**  7\.**
Repeat until the cookie is finished.

**Tips**

    * You might want to get another cookie once you are done.
    * Milk goes great with them. Just dip it in between steps 2 and 3.
    * Enjoy it.
    * Use protection

**Warnings**

    * Be careful of your spouse, mother, or anyone who would get mad if you ate some cookies. They might catch you. **Do this in private!!!**

    * Cookies have been known to attack, rape, and kill people. **SO BE READY!!!**

**Things You'll Need**

    * cookie
    * milk (optional)
    * air (this part is very important!!!)
    * a chair
    * a well lit room (you never know!!!)