Letters to councils

[cheatking]

Letters to councils      Some of this is 'nearly'  English …. Sentences in letters written to councils in  UK  .........

1.. It's the dogs' mess that  I find hard to swallow
2.. I want some repairs done  to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob  off.
3.. I wish to complain that  my father burnt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his  back passage..
4.. And their 18 year old  son is continually banging his balls against my  fence.
5.. I wish to report that  tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the  other day that blew them off.
6..My lavatory seat is  cracked, where do I stand?
7.. I am writing on behalf  of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8.. Will you please send  someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and  now she is pregnant.
9.. I request permission to  remove my drawers in the kitchen.
10.. 50% of the walls are  damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are Plain  filthy.
11.. I am still having  problems with smoke in my new drawers.
12.. The toilet is blocked  and we cannot bath the children until it is  Cleared.
13..Will you please send a  man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and Not fit to  drink.
14..Our lavatory seat is  broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15..I want to complain about  the farmer across the road. Every morning at  6am his package wakes me up and  it's now getting too much For me.
16..The man next door has a  large erection in the back garden, which is Unsightly and  dangerous.
17..Our kitchen floor is  damp. We have two children and would like a third So please send someone round  to do something about it.
18..I am a single woman  living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise  made by the man on top of me every night..
19..Please send a man with  the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my  wife.
20.. I have had the clerk of  works down on the floor six times but I still have no  satisfaction.
21.. This is to let you know  that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get  BBC2.
22.. My bush is really  overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in  it.
23..He's got this huge tool  that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it  anymore.

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@Green_Bottlesâ„¢ :

> link=topic=45335.msg460514#msg460514 date=1243695840]
>
> And their 18 year old  son is continually banging his balls against my  fence.